High risk pregnancy due to advanced maternal age????
Yeah, I couldn't believe it either when the "downstairs doc" uttered these ugly words. "But I'm really immature for my age!" I protested. He just laughed. (Strange . . . I thought that was a pretty good argument.) Apparently immaturity doesn't matter in this situation. I'm 34 years old now but I'll be 35 by the time I deliver. That means advanced maternal age.
Whatever! My age is not advanced. I know who Lil' Wayne is. When I bend over, my panties sometimes stick out from my 'cut too low jeans.' (See how fashionable I am?) I don't have an IPOD but I know someone who does. I've even used the sentence, "John, check it out, I pimped my myspace page." Would someone with advanced maternal age EVER say that? Seriously, I don't think downstairs doc knows what he is talking about.
That's not to say my life hasn't undergone a few changes lately. I'm accepting that my former "fat jeans" are now my "get used to it, you're porking up" jeans. I now consider an "all nighter" to be a night when I don't have to get out of bed to pee pee in the potty a hundred times. "Getting lucky" means being able to find my car in the parking lot. When John says, "Let's go upstairs and 'do it.' I have to reply "You'll have to pick just one. I'm too tired to do both." (That last part I made up just to make you laugh.)
I guess I'm in denial that I'm old. But seriously . . .
Would Someone With Advanced Maternal Age
A Photo Essay
If I got my belly button pierced, would that help or hurt my case?