Friday, March 13, 2009

Is That Too Much To Ask?

Why did I start this blog a year-and-a-half ago?

I wanted to share that being a stay-at-home mom didn't mean being forced into a life of unhappy servitude.

I wanted to share that there is joy in the bum wiping, the boo boo kissing, the playing, the snuggling, the cooking. the cleaning . . . and even in the sweatpants.

I wanted to tell some funny stories and hopefully make you laugh a little.

I wanted to play some music for you and encourage you to dance.
It's fun to dance.

I wanted to share a little of my heart with you.

I realize now that opened me up to criticism.

But this is my life.
It isn't some made-up story.

I'm worried about losing everything we own.
I'm worried we won't be able to find any job capable of paying for it all.

What am I supposed to be writing about right now?
March Madness?
The weather?

I'm sure my family is not alone as we struggle through this period of unemployment.

I honestly considering hanging up this blog after reading a couple anonymous comments (that I won't even publish.)

Then I realized the reason I keep this blog in the first place.

Even in the middle of a recession, in the middle of worry and tears, there is love here.
I felt it tonight when I rocked Megan to sleep.
There, in the quiet of her room, I held her tightly as my quiet tears fell atop her head.
Tears of gratitude and love.

I use this blog to share my heart with you.
(A heart that is a little sensitive right now.)

So, if my search for hope in the middle of struggle is too much for you,
if you just can't hold back your bitter words that I deserve to suffer like the rest of the world,
please stop reading my blog.

I want nice, loving people to visit.
People who love God, their children, and each other.
People who have been sending me their prayers, hugs, and love. (XOXOXO to you.)
Is that too much to ask????
If you're bitter, mean, and wish me all the pain and suffering my heart can hold . . .
I'll pray for you too.
(But just so you know, I'm not sure how much longer I'm gonna be able to do that :)


Kati said...

And that is the part of it all.. anonymous comments.. people that are too scared to identify themselves with the negative comments they leave.. dont for one minute think about those.. hit delete and move on.. cause you have alot of readers that can relate to the economic struggle.. and you! Have a great weekend!!

The Jensens said...

just for the record, ive been following your blog for a month or two, and love it!! I love that you are REAL. I love that you love your kids. I love that you can be real about being sad and being scared. There is nothing worse then reading friends blogs where everything is 'perfect'. Quite frankly, I have the same attitude as you. its MY blog and MY feelings, and if you dont like them, not only dont comment, but please bug off! :)
anyways, you have a fan in Canada with a darling hubby and a lovely one year old boy who I adore :)
and I totally get you, and not only find you entertaing and sweet, but I totally totally appreciate your realness.
you are in my thoughts and I know things will look up for you guys. Good guys always come out on top :) You will be blessed.

Anonymous said...

A while ago I started getting negative comments on my blog. That is when I added a little sidebar thingy with the definition of what a blog is... "an online diary; a personal chronological log of thoughts published on a Web page." How dare someone negatively comment you on what is going on in your life. I applaud you for standing up for yourself.

Missie said...

Kudos to you for standing up to the mean people of this world! I personally just CANNOT understand why anyone would chose to use comments to say something hurtful. You are a great mom, wife and person. Stay strong and know that there are plenty of bloggy FRIENDS that will love u and support u whether you are funny, mad, having a bad day or whatever.

The High Family said...

aren't you able to block anon comments?

I am sorry you are receiving 'hate' comments right now. I personally love reading your blog, so please please please continue to share the good times and bad!

At the end of the day, it's your family, friends and fans that matter and we are ALL here for you!

Smiles and hugs!

Kristina P. said...

I love your blog! You are a fun, sassy mama.

Alyssa said...

I'm sorry for what your family is going through. I'm also sorry people have to send you hate mail anonymously to make themselves feel better about their own life. I hope your husband gets an awesome job offer! You guys will get through this.

Fiauna said...

Coming from BSU to bring you (((hugs))). I feel your pain. Okay, I can't actually feel your pain, but I am sympathetic to your situation. Go ahead, vent all you want. This is, after all, your little corner of the internet. Use it how you'd like.

Ruth Dunkman said...

Hugs to you!

By the way, re COBRA, I've heard from two sources now that the individual pays the 35% and the former employer has to cover the 65% of the premium, which can be taken as a tax credit at the end of the year. It may be profitable for you to look into the exact wording of the bill and then talk to the company's HR department. If it's the law, that's what they'll have to do.

In the meantime, keep the faith and know that you are loved!

Amanda - The Mom Job said...

I love your new comment message ;-)

As a fellow blogger, I accept anon comments because I understand that some people are either A) paranoid about The Internets or B) Don't want a google account and don't know how to sign otherwise or C) Are giant pansies.

So... screw them. Keep on. It's a PERSONAL blog and I can't FATHOM someone having something negative to say. They are probably the same people that find it ok to tell you how to parent your child in the middle of the grocery store.

I hate those people.

I'm thinking about you and your family! (I know this might be the OBVIOUS - but I just helped my sis file for unemployment yesterday as she was fired. I hope you guys have done the same!)

Big Internet Hugs!

sara said...

I love reading your blog...the good and the bad... so don't stop writing. Nobody wants to read a made-up fairy tale blog. The ups and down of life come with lots of emotions and you should feel free to write about them all! LOVE YOU!

La Carter said...

I stalk your blog religiously. I love that you cook for us, I love that you have shared your baby girl and hubby with us, I love your weight loss journey, and am very proud of you for it. Things in life are not always rainbows and butterflies, and no one should expect your blog to reflect humor and happiness 365. A blog is a great outlet for hopes, fears, memories, expierences. And who are we to judge? I think blogstalkers should reflect a community of support. Those stupid miserable people who leave nasty comments are parasites to society.

Our Family said...

I found your blog through the "High Family Blog", and loved that you were real...I finally thought aahh, this lady gets it. Please keep blogging. We're a community of random women from all over the country. And communities pull together in tough times and support each other. I send all my hugs and prayers your way that your family will be okay. Just remember that your life and family is where ever you make it. Its the people in your life not the cars or the house or the stuff. That's something those Anonymous jerks can not take away.

Missy said...

I am sorry for the blog crap you are experiencing and I am sorry for your worries! Do not let negative comments get you down! You know that you have been blessed with a wonderful family and special talents! I will be praying for you and your family! Things will get better~

Anonymous said...

You mean that you got worse anonymous comments than the two that were posted? How dare people judge your situation! I may not have a nice house or drive a Lexus, but if I lost my job, then my income loss is just as great as yours is. We would both have bills and no income in sight. The anonymous negative commenters need to be on their knees thanking God for whatever income they have, instead of making rude comments about those who had it better financially at one time than they did. Those people are just jealous. Don't worry about them, just keep realizing all the good that you do have, especially your family. And realize that when your husband lands his next job, you may do things a little differently. "Things" and "Stuff" may not be as important to you as they once were. And that's okay, because you've always had your priorities straight... Family first. It's obvious to anybody and everybody that you love your family. By the way, I love your blog. I have always admired those who are able to weave their everyday life into a great story.