Why did I start this blog a year-and-a-half ago?
I wanted to share that being a stay-at-home mom didn't mean being forced into a life of unhappy servitude.
I wanted to share that there is joy in the bum wiping, the boo boo kissing, the playing, the snuggling, the cooking. the cleaning . . . and even in the sweatpants.
I wanted to tell some funny stories and hopefully make you laugh a little.
I wanted to play some music for you and encourage you to dance.
It's fun to dance.
I wanted to share a little of my heart with you.
I realize now that opened me up to criticism.
But this is my life.
It isn't some made-up story.
I'm worried about losing everything we own.
I'm worried we won't be able to find any job capable of paying for it all.
What am I supposed to be writing about right now?
I'm sure my family is not alone as we struggle through this period of unemployment.
I honestly considering hanging up this blog after reading a couple anonymous comments (that I won't even publish.)
Then I realized the reason I keep this blog in the first place.
Even in the middle of a recession, in the middle of worry and tears, there is love here.
I felt it tonight when I rocked Megan to sleep.
There, in the quiet of her room, I held her tightly as my quiet tears fell atop her head.
Tears of gratitude and love.
I use this blog to share my heart with you.
(A heart that is a little sensitive right now.)
So, if my search for hope in the middle of struggle is too much for you,
if you just can't hold back your bitter words that I deserve to suffer like the rest of the world,
please stop reading my blog.
I want nice, loving people to visit.
People who love God, their children, and each other.
People who have been sending me their prayers, hugs, and love. (XOXOXO to you.)
Is that too much to ask????
If you're bitter, mean, and wish me all the pain and suffering my heart can hold . . .
I'll pray for you too.
(But just so you know, I'm not sure how much longer I'm gonna be able to do that :)