I knew it had been a while since I updated my blog when my sister sent me a message that said,
"You blog is now boring. I'm over it."
Then Kristina P. sent me a message asking if everything was o.k.
Who is Kristina P. you might ask?
Kristina P. writes a hysterical blog and is actually famous on the internet. Seriously, famous.
I was so flattered that Kristina P. actually spent a moment of her super exciting life of Snuggy wearing and naked neighbor watching to check up on me. Little old me? Thanks, Kristina P. You made my day!
Just for you, Kristina, I'll give you a quick update on what it is like to be officially 9 months pregnant.
What have I been up to?
Well, I went shopping for nursing bras this week to prepare for the moment when I'll need to trade in the Victoria's Secret model for the Playtex. This bra is so ugly I think my great-grandma Josephine wore one that was sexier when she was 90. Seriously.
I do have a plan to liven things up a bit.
I'm going to go to the grocery store, put a pregnancy test on the belt, and act all giddy and excited. I'm going to tell the cashier to cross her fingers for me that I'm pregnant, since I have a strong suspicion that some of the symptoms I've been having might hint that I'm expecting.
I just want to see her face.
Then I want to go to Walmart and yell at the dorky security man at the exit.
I'm going to say, "What kind of security is this? I could be stealing watermelons right out from under your nose and you didn't even check me!"
Again, I just want to see his face.
It has been pretty boring around here.