What's cookin' today?
Nothing.
I don't feel like cooking today.
I don't feel like dancing around my kitchen pretending to be a pop star with great legs.
I can't sleep at night.
I can't shake this feeling of utter panic that has taken up a home inside my gut.
I can't stop the tears that keep flowing generously from my eyes as I worry about our future.
I don't remember the last time I felt this afraid.
Don't worry, I'm trying to keep this in perspective.
Last night, when I was crying in bed I tried to remind myself that there are parents who would give anything to just walk into the next room and kiss their children. There are parents out there mourning loss or wondering where their children are.
I walked into Megan's room, moved her hair away from her warm little cheeks, and gave her a kiss. I'm thankful. I'm still thankful.
It could be worse . . . so much worse, and I'm trying to remember that.
I'm trying really hard.
Some moments are easier than others.
And thank you, thank you, thank you to my fellow blogging buddy who recommended I go listen to this song. It made me find a little smile through my tears.
3 comments:
I know that if I were in your shoes I would be feeling the same way. I am so sorry that this had to happen to your family. I am so sorry that you are having sleepless nights. I am so sory that you lie in bed with tears streaming down your face. Just remember that you have friends that will be praying for you and thinking of you!!
I hope that your husband can find a job quickly. I hope he files for unemployment today. Take advantage of what you can!
I am so glad I could make you smile today...even if it was little. That song couldn't have been more perfect. Now just put it on when you start feeling blue and remember that the most important thing is your health and your family....everything else will eventually fall in place. :)
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