Pretty Fly for a White Guy

I'm just going to continue on with my series - "How Much I love My Husband John" - since you guys seemed to love it so much.

Did you know one of my favorite ways to show John just how much I love him is to sing to him??I guess I'm just a hopeless romantic. Some songs do such a wonderful job articulating the poetry that lives in my heart. Whenever I can't seem to find the right words, I can always think of a song that says just what I was thinking.

Like when I sit up in bed in the morning and spy John brushing his teeth in his birthday suit I start singing. . .

Ummm, you're packed and you're stacked 'specially in the back. Brother, wanna thank your mother for a butt like that.

or some mornings I just yell . . .

Can I get some fries with that shake-shake booty?

Other times I sing . .

Cotton candy, sweet as gold, let me see that tootsie roll. (Sometimes I do a little dance while I'm singing to him for emphasis.)


Sometimes while watching him getting ready for work and I sing . . .

I like the way you comb your hair (UH!)
I like the stylish clothes you wear (UH!)
It's just the little things you do (UH!)
that makes me wanna get with you (UH!)

Then there are the times when he's doing the household budget at the computer . I walk by his office singing . . .

Can you pay my bills? Can you pay my telephone bills? Do you pay my automo' bills? If you did then maybe we could chill.

Sometimes I'll just stare at him while he's mowing the lawn and sing . . .

I like the way you work it No diggity, I got to bag it up I like the way you work it No diggity, I got to bag it up

(Not sure exactly what 'no diggity' means . . . it just sounds so romantic to me.)

Or when he begs for my help dealing with Megan after she's gotten out of bed for the 6 bizzilionth time . . .

If there was a problem
Yo, I'll solve it
Check out the hook while my DJ revolves it
Ice Ice Baby
Word to your mutha . . .

Or when I'm thinking about why I love being married to him . . .

From seven to seven he's got me open like Seven Eleven And yes, it's me that he's always choosin With him I'm never losin', and he knows that my name is not Susan

Took the words right out of my mouth!

Sometimes I just feel so gooshy in love with him, I serenade him by singing . . .

Bright as the sun,I wanna have some fun
Come (come) and (hmmm) give me some of that yum-yum Chocolate chip, honey dip, can I get a scoop? (please) Baby, take a ride in my coupe, you make me wanna...Shoop shoop ba-doop (Baby, hey)Shoop ba-doopShoop ba-doop ba-doop ba-doopShoop shoop ba-doop (Don't you know I wanna shoop, baby)Shoop ba-doopShoop ba-doop ba-doop ba-doop

I think that one is my favorite.

Seriously, if it wasn't for the true love songs of the 1990s, I'm not sure John would even know how much I love him.

They just don't write beautiful songs like that anymore.

I love you angelbabes!!!!!!!

Here's the (unfinished - your dog keeps waking up our child) mix tape I promised.

You can roll your eyes and throw up now . . .

but I hope you don't. This is romance, Keller style. Just trying to spread the love around!



My email to St. John -

Your challenge - name the artist and song

Hearing this song always makes me think of you . . . especially the firecracker comin' undone part. Yeah, the wild eyed and crazy part too. "You're the angel that believes in me like nobody else, and I thank God you do."

Love,
Lisa

P.S. Thank you for replacing the toilet paper roll this morning.

Every now and then
I get a little lost
The strings all get tangled
The wires all get crossed
Every now and then
I’m right upon the edge
Danglin’ my toes out over the ledge
I just thank God you’re here

(Chorus)
['Cause] when I’m a bullet shot out of a gun
['Cause] when I’m a firecracker comin’ undone
When I’m a fugitive ready to run
All wild-eyed and crazy
No matter where my reckless soul takes me
Baby you save me

It’s hard lovin’ a man
That’s got a gypsy soul
I don’t know how you do it
I’m not sure how you know
The perfect thing to say
To save me from myself
You’re the angel that believes in me
Like nobody else
And I thank God you do

(Chorus)

Well I know I don’t tell you nearly enough
I couldn’t live one day without your love

When I’m a ship tossed around on the waves
Up on a high wire that’s ready to break
When I’ve had just about all I can take
Baby, you,
Baby you save me

(Chorus)

Immature slash Inappropriate

It is time again to plan another girls' weekend for this spring!!!!! I realized I never blogged about the ridiculous fun we had at the last girls' weekend in the Ozark Mountains (March 2008).

Ready for a little walk down memory lane . . .

Our cabin

Now let's get this party started with a little rump smackin' dance music from the 1990s!

Without the song "My Humps" playing in the background this picture

doesn't make a bit of sense.

Let me help to set the mood . . .

"Whatcha gonna do with all that junk, all that junk inside that trunk? I'm gonna get you drunk, get you love drunk off my humps."

I laugh when I think someone got seriously paid to write the lyrics for that song.

Narcolepsy, Sara style.

I have no idea how to explain this.

Between the four of us we have 9 children!!!

Yes, we are responsible for 9 little lives . . . scary, huh?

One weekend a year we let their fathers blow their noses, wipe their bums, kiss their boo boos, and read their bedtime stories so we can get together and act more immature than all 9 of them combined. What fun!

We became season pass holders and Silver Dollar City amusement park.

Seriously.

Crazy shooting game where I could show off my mad skills . . .

It is often difficult to plan a weekend when someone isn't ovulating and/or trying to get pregnant, currently baking a bun in the oven, immediately postpartum and/or nursing an infant.

Our answer to such minor problems : Go ANYWAY!

We know how to have a good time.

Potential sites for our next rendezvous:

1. 4 day Caribbean cruise (this one has my vote)

Cooters in the Caribbean '09 - it has a nice ring to it

2. Las Vegas

3. Salt Lake City

4. Lake Tahoe

5. Chicago

6. New Orleans

7. New York City

8. Orlando, Florida

I've been skimmin' at bit of cash from the grocery budget each week (seriously so kidding here John) to pay for this extravaganza.

Let the planning begin!!!!!

Show me a good loser . . .

and I'll show you a LOSER!

-Vince Lombardi

It's that time of year again . . . the annual city costume contest, parade, and Halloween party.

It is freezing, it is crowded, and it is ridiculous fun. Before I had a child of my own, I had to borrow my brother's children for this extravaganza.

For years, I've dreamed of winning the costume contest with my very own child.

I've imagined the moment . . . prepared the acceptance speech . . . practiced the "surprised/ humbled" look in the mirror. I knew this year would be "our year." After all, Megan was finally old enough to stand on her own and prance in the circle required by the judges.

Her costume was original, it was adorable, and it was handmade by ME!!!!!

My mouth was dry . . . my hands were shaking.

My gosh, Megan, turn around and smile at the judges!!!!!

Not that I'm biased or anything, but . . .

Yeah, not tryin' to sound like a sore loser, but we were robbed of the title this year by a little elephant boy.

Whatever!

Two little girls in black sweatsuits wearing cat ears (wow, who thought of that) won the most creative not that I'm

feeling bitter or anything.

I'm gonna try to move on, let go of the anger, and move forward with my life.

Colin the shark and Megan the adorable, glamorous (and robbed of the top prize) witch

See, trying to move on but having recurrent, angry thoughts about the contest again.

Katie and I

On the hayride

My mom, Katie, and the shark



Perhaps I should have entered the contest as city councilwoman witch . . .





After the festivities, we went home where I drowned my sorrows in my homemade frankensnacks.






They tasted really, really good but I'm still not over our defeat.



Don't even think I won't be complaining about it at tomorrow night's city council meeting.



;)

How to Make Frankensnacks

Wow, have I been a wealth of domestic information lately or what?

1. (While your two year old is napping)

Paint scary faces on the inside of clear plastic cups with some melted chocolate.

When your working-mom friend (who doesn't understand what you do all day) calls and asks what you are doing . . . lie . . . she just wouldn't understand.)

2. Put the cups in the refrigerator so the chocolate can harden.

3. Once your two year old is awake, enlist her help making some vanilla pudding.

3. Don't forget to add the milk. (To the bowl, not the counter, but that's ok.)

4. Stir it up real good and add some green coloring.

5. Give it a little taste test. Yum!

6. Pour pudding into the cups, leaving a little space at the top.

7. Now put some chocolate Oreo cookies in a baggie

(if you can stop eating them first) and crush them up.

8. Pour crushed cookies on top of the pudding cups.

Eat one immediately.

Oh yeah, and to my working mom friend (who just doesn't understand what I do all day):

I was painting with chocolate when you called.

It was really fun.

What were you doing?

How to Make an Adorable Halloween Costume

Wanna know how to make this adorable costume???

Ok . . . I'll tell you.

Start with a piece of elastic.

Wrap it around your daughter's waist and mark with a pen (on the elastic) how large it is.

Make sure you leave several inches on either side to tie the elastic together.

Next, fold tulle in half and cut into approximately 4 inch strips. You decide how long to make the strips. (I used a total of 10 yards of tulle. 4 yards of black, 4 yards of purple, and 2 yards of yellow. I bought it at Walmart for $.97 a yard.)

Loop it around the elastic and tie into a knot.

Keep going, alternating your colors until you have tulle filled in completely between your pen marks on the elastic.
Tip - tie your elastic between two chairs to make it easier on
yourself while adding the tulle.


With a hot glue gun, add embellishments to a witch hat. I found this

little treat bucket cauldron at Walmart for $1.00.

I did the same with a little broom I found at Walmart.

On top, I just put her in a black sweater and and some purple beads. I also found black and purple striped tights at Kroger.

I love, love, love this costume. Don't you???

Variations: (just to name a few)

white tutu, wand & wings - tooth fairy

red tutu with black dots, wings, antennae - ladybug

tutu, antennae, wings - butterfly

Now, for those of you who entered my costume contest and feel dissed because I disregarded your suggestions and came up with my own . . . now you know first hand what it feels like to be St. John.

No, seriously . . . honorable mention to the other costumes that just weren't good enough for my little Maggie Moo.

Thanks Kristina P. - I don't know you but I'm so glad you started stalking my blog. I love stalking yours too. I almost pee pee in my pants sometimes but that is a good thing. You're hysterical girl! Check out Kristina's blog here, but make sure you're wearing your depends.

And to my sister Katie - you listening to me yammer on and on, obsessing over every detail of this costume earns you a mention as well. Check out Katie's blog here.

Now, just click below and leave me a comment. Tell me how much I remind you of Martha Stewart. The accolades stoke my fragile ego. C'mon sweet blog stalkers, come out of the closet.

An Email From St. John

Free romance lesson today, courtesy of St. John.

Click below to play the video.

He may not always pick his socks up off the floor or replace the toilet paper roll when he has used it all but my husband is the shiz.

Here is the email he sent me today:

Your challenge - name the artist and song for these lyrics. Oh yeah - and READ them, they made me think of you :-)

"Car door slams, it's been a long day at workI'm out on the freeway and I'm wondering if it's all worthThe price that I pay, sometimes it doesn't seem fairI pull into the drive and you're standing thereAnd you look at meAnd give me that come-here-baby smileIt's all gonna be alrightYou take my handAnd You pull me close and you hold me tightChorus:It's the sweet love that you give to meThat makes me believe we can make it through anything'Cause when it all comes downAnd I'm feeling like I'll never lastI just lean on you 'cause babyYou're my better halfThey say behind every man is a good womanBut I think that's a lie'Cause when it comes to you I'd rather have you by my sideYou don't know how much I count on you to help me winWhen I've given everything I got and I just feel like giving inAnd you look at meAnd give me that come-here-baby smileIt's all gonna be alrightYou take my handYeah you pull me close and you hold me tight(REPEAT CHORUS)Well, you take my handYeah you hold me close and I understandIt's the sweet love that you give to meThat makes me believe that we can make it through anythingOh baby, it's the sweet love that you give to meThat makes me believe we can make it through anything'Cause when it all comes downAnd I'm feeling like I'll never lastI just lean on you 'cause baby You're my better halfOh, oh baby you're my better halfOoh, hey baby you're my better half"

So . . . when he walked through the door tonight I flashed him my "come-here-baby smile." I love the heck out of that guy!

Another Baby!!!!

Got your attention, didn't it?

Sorry, there is no bun in my proverbial oven. No seed growing in my fertile wombgarden of love. ha, ha Eww, grossed even myself out there.

Here is what this website thinks my next child will look like, based upon a photo of John and I. Yikes! That is one interesting looking future Brendan or Caroline. What's with the weird chin?

Strangely enough, virtual baby looks a lot like Megan did as a baby, minus the ugly chin and strangely misshapen mouth.

Kinda makes me wonder what Lisa and say, oh . . . Tom Cruise's baby would look like. (The Top Gun Tom Cruise, of course. NOT the super weird, scientology babbling, couch jumping, Suri stalking Tom Cruise. Know what I mean?)

My Latest Creation

Here is a little cake I made for my sister Katie's birthday this past weekend. I left it at her house to surprise her when she got home from Florida.

It took me half the afternoon to make the leaves out of marshmallow fondant. Megan woke up from her nap earlier than expected and the cake was sitting on the kitchen table. Before I realized it, Megan had scarfed down half the leaves on the cake. With some creative rearranging, I was able to fix it. (There are no leaves on the back of the cake!) Good thing this wasn't for a party or I would have flipped the heck out.

Want my recipe for marshmallow fondant? It is a dough that tastes sooooo good. Once you make it, you can color it using food color gels (cake section of Joann's or Michaels.) You can use cookie cutters or mold shapes yourself. It is just like delicious play dough. Yum! You can make some for the kids to play with without worrying about them eating it.

Lisa's Marshmallow Fondant Recipe

16 oz. bag of mini marshmallows

2 lb. bag of powdered sugar

1/2 cup water

Shortening

1. Empty bag of marshmallows in microwave safe bowl.

2. Microwave in 30 second intervals, stirring the mixture in between, until melted.

3. Pour 1/2 the bag of sugar on top of the melted marshmallows.

4. Generously spread shortening directly on your counter to prevent the mixture from sticking.

5. Dump mixture, sugar side down, on your counter.

6. Rub shortening all over your hands.

7. Knead the dough. It is super, super sticky at first. It gets better the longer you kneed it.

8. Slowly knead in the rest of the powdered sugar, adding water about a teaspoon at a time. (You may or may not use all the water.)

9. Keep kneading and kneading, adding sugar, and kneading.

10. Fondant is ready when you have a smooth, elastic ball.

Now you can add the color if you want. Taste it . . . it is sooooo good.

To roll it out, just cover your counter with corn starch to prevent sticking. Rub corn starch on your rolling pin too. Now you can use a cookie cutter to cut fun shapes.

To cover a cake with fondant, ice your cake first with a smooth layer of buttercream icing. Then roll out your fondant. For a 2 layer 6 inch cake (assuming each layer is 2 inches high) you'll need to roll out your fondant 14 inches . . . 6 for the cake and 4 for each of the two sides. 6+4+4=14

Carefully use your rolling pin to lift the fondant onto the cake. Gently lift and smooth down the sides of the fondant on the cake. Use a sharp knife to cut off the excess from the bottom.

(To store it, rub the outside with shortening and double wrap tightly in plastic wrap.)

Let me know if you have any questions. I love to talk cakes. (I'm a self-taught cake guru.) I want to take lessons someday.

Other Fun Stuff I've Made From Fondant:

And that is your cake lesson for today.