my stay-at-home momma drama

A Tale of Two Turkeys

2011-12-11T20:44:00.006-05:00

This year we spent Thanksgiving at the cabin in NY.

It took a serious amount of turkey to feed this clan . . .

It was really special to celebrate with the "old timers" - my great uncle Frank and my
grandfather. I would include my nana here too but I am certain she wouldn't appreciate being called an "old timer." I almost choked on my turkey during a certain conversation with my great uncle Frank. It kinda went like this . . .
Me: I didn't know you were sick.
Him: Yeah, I have cancer a foot up my dupa!
I hope you don't need me to translate what he meant by "dupa." Ahh, I guess you can say things when you are in your 90s that you just can't get away with saying any other time. I still laugh when I think of the awkward silence after he said that . . . . kinda like, did he just say what I think he said????

I love my family!

That news didn't seem to disturb anyone's appetites, however.

This was John's dessert plate.

My mom makes seriously good pie . . .

although I'm not sure good pie excuses the ridiculousness of this.

We spent the next couple couple days playing some cut throat games of Carcassonne
and enjoying each other's company.

We were also on pins and needles, hoping one of the kids wouldn't give away the real reason we all went up to the cabin . . .

to celebrate my grandfather's 85th birthday with a surprise party in Buffalo with all his nearest and dearest. Tune in soon for that tale.

I'll Want To Remember This Someday

2011-12-11T20:25:00.004-05:00

Once the thrill of the election was over, my next step was being sworn in. My kids came to city hall and acted like they owned the place.

Brendan wasted no time at all climbing into the mayor's chair.

Megan settled for my chair!

Not shown:

Brendan throwing a tantrum THIS BIG while I took my oath of office. Seriously, people are still talking about it. Imagine John wrestling with a screaming Brendan, me so stressed I raised my left hand instead of my right, and Megan stepping in to hold the Bible because John's hands were FULL. Good times! That is what they get for scheduling my oath of office at bedtime.

Cutest moment of the night: Megan asking me if they were going to have crafts for the kids.

Hmmm, maybe something we should consider in the future!

And the winner is . . .

2011-11-09T19:54:00.002-05:00

If I were the type to gloat, I would say that was the largest margin of victory in the entire county. Good thing I'm not.

To be continued . . .

2011-11-08T17:48:00.000-05:00

Trick - or - Treat 2011

2011-11-06T20:00:00.004-05:00

Our Halloween began as usual . . .

posing for portraits on the front porch.

Only one little monster didn't quite get the concept of trick-or-treat. Brendan was like, "Jackpot. Found the candy! I think I'm gonna fill up my treat bucket right here on the front porch while mom is distracted taking photos of Megan."

Sorry about the poor picture quality. No need to adjust your monitor. My flash was turned off. I apologize in advance for the headache these pictures may cause.

John's pumpkin masterpiece.

Megan, less than enthusiastic about posing for another picture before she even had one piece of candy.

Our traditional photo with our neighbor friends.

And now I need your help with something . . .

I just can't decide which Frankenstein is more scary.

This one.

Or this one?

You decide.

Happy Halloween 2011.

Keller Halloween Spooktacular 2011

2011-10-29T20:53:00.008-04:00

The Keller Halloween Spooktacular has become somewhat of a tradition in these parts.

This year, we began the festivities with the creation of the famous Frankensnack.

For a step-by-step tutorial on how to make the famous dessert we enjoy every year, click here (only we use a sharpie marker to draw the face instead of painting it with chocolate. Much easier.)

Drawing the faces on the Frankensnacks.

Mixing up the pudding

Adorable!

Then we made some creepy crawly bug juice.

The bug juice was a disgusting new addition to the Spooktacular this year.

Made from fruit punch, ginger ale, sherbert, gummy slugs and worms,

this tasty treat was a big hit. Thank goodness this was part of the menu since the bugs were the only part of the meal Brendan actually consumed.

And we cannot forget the mummy dogs!

Yum.

Brendan wasted no time shoving all the worms into his mouth at once.

Then it was on to the annual pumpkin carving contest, although I'm not really sure why we even call it a contest. Megan wins every year.

Seriously, who ever heard of a 5 year old carving a pumpkin?

Don't believe me?

Check out the skills . . .

Brendan was pretty impressed, too!

Check out his surgical bracelet from the other day.

He won't let me cut it off.

Guess who did this pumpkin?

Yep, me.

The election is less than two weeks away.

I thought it was pretty clever.

John made fun of it.

Imagine John's trying-to-sound-like-an-idiot voice . . .

"Yep, I wasn't sure who I was going to vote for until I saw that pumpkin and now the decision is so clear!" John, you are such a wiseacre.

John also had an amazing pumpkin creation this year (not as amazing as the "Vote Keller" pumpkin) but I have no photo of it yet. He was still working on it when I retired my camera for the evening. Don't worry too much. It will be included in the Halloween photos I'm sure.

And that, folks, was how we celebrated the Keller Halloween Spooktacular 2011.

Brendan's Surgery

2011-10-26T20:30:00.003-04:00

After the 6th ear infection of 2011 (and all the crankiness and lack of sleep that goes with them) we took the doctor's advice and scheduled Brendan for surgery to have tubes inserted.

His surgery was scheduled for early this morning and John's parents traveled from Dayton to help us get Megan off to school and provide moral support.

Last night, John's mom was so worried we would oversleep she prayed God would wake us up on time. No joke - there was a huge thunderstorm 5 minutes before our alarms were set to go off and we all woke up. Whoa! She has some serious pull with the man upstairs. I asked her to pray we win the lottery. I'll let you know how that turns out.

Anyway, here are some pics of Brendan before his surgery.

The surgery only took about 8 minutes. Based on the price of the surgery, the doctor earns $98438595905792549.96 a minute. I'm enrolling John in medical school tomorrow.

Favorite moments of the day:

1. Hearing Brendan sing "Twiiiiiiiiiiiinkle Twiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinkle Liiiittle Staaaaaaar" after they gave him the "relaxation" meds before surgery. It was kinda like drunken two year old karaoke.

2. Bringing Brendan home and watching him stumble all over the living room. He was like a weeble-wobble except this weeble-wobble actually fell down. He would say, "Oops! I sorry. I'm o-tay" and get right back up again.

3. Going to the Trunk-or-Treat event at Megan's school. He was the only Frankenstein there that actually had surgery that morning. That degree of authenticity should have won him the costume contest, don't you think?

We'll do anything for a little free candy around here.

Seriously though, he is doing just fine - acting like his normal self.

The doctor said he had no restrictions, so don't go thinking I'm a bad mom because I dragged my freshly-operated-on-two-year-old to trunk or treat just to get his bag of candy.

Cause I didn't.

Leeds Farm 2011

2011-10-23T19:46:00.009-04:00

With my re-election campaign in full swing, I have to admit I've been out of the house more than I would like. I've been gone quite a bit lately and John has had to take over just about everything so I can go out and shake hands, talk economic development and fiber optic networks, etc. I really do enjoy getting out and talking to people but I started missing my two little people. So today, I temporarily suspended the Re-elect Lisa Train for a little fall fun at

Leed's Farm!

In case you're not familiar with Leed's Farm, it is a friendly little farm not too far from our house. We go every year, drop a large wad of cash, and spend the day trying to get both kids to look in the same direction for a picture. It is great fun!

See what I mean about the picture thing?

We take this traditional picture every year and marvel at how much the kids have grown since last year.

Making a snow angel in the corn . . . or would that be a corn angel? You decide.

One out of two people looking in the correct direction = photo success.

And, of course, we cannot forget the Banana Bus. There was one precarious year when I got in the Banana Bus and wasn't very sure I was going to be able to pry myself out. I'm so glad they added seatbelts this year so Brendan could ride on his own.

Imagine my surprise when I was walking to unbuckle him after the ride was over and he unbuckled himself and got out on his own. Seatbelts = false sense of security.

Then it was time to feed the goats.

Despite how these pictures make it look, the fun of feeding the goats lasted approximately 0.00009 seconds.

Then it was on to some more fun,

and some more unsuccessful attempts to get both kids to look in the same direction at the same time.

Then it was on to the zip line!

And yes, my friends, that is my 2 year old baby zip lining.

Let me say that again.

My two year old baby can zip line!

I learned several things today.

1. There is not a thing in this world

that means more to me than my little peeps.

2. Pictures are a lot more successful when

taken one child at a time.

3. It is tough to find a place more fun

than Leed's Farm in the fall.

First Week of Kindergarten

2011-09-02T19:21:00.004-04:00

Megan started kindergarten last week!

We're hoping that a good, Catholic education will keep her on the straight and narrow (a little straighter and narrower than my good, Catholic education kept me :)

She is going to the same school as her buddy, Colin but they are in two different kindergarten classrooms.

Megan was super nervous her first day and almost didn't want to go. Once we got there, she sat right down and started coloring and didn't look back. I left with tears in my eyes and a big lump in my throat.

To stay busy, I walked to the duck pond in the neighborhood with Brendan to feed the ducks. Brendan loves to feed the ducks. For a while there, we were feeding the ducks so much I started buying cheap white bread instead of feeding them the good stuff I buy for the kids. They tasted it one day and were like, "What kind of bread is this!!! It is so delicious!" Doesn't it just figure?

On the walk home, Brendan stopped at every mailbox to read the numbers. He knows at least some of the numbers. For the ones he doesn't know he points and asks, "Whaaaas dis? Whaaaas dis, Momma?" Every. single. mailbox. Usually, I have to hurry him along because Megan is getting too far ahead. This time I was able to cater to just him and his curiosities. It was kinda nice. Strange, but nice.

At the end of the day, we ate cookies and talked. I missed her so much.

I can't believe my little girl is already in kindergarten!

Who Needs Ponies?

2011-08-27T19:28:00.007-04:00

Not only did we celebrate on Brendan's actual birthday, we had a party that weekend as well. We're all about parties around here.

When I asked Brendan what kind of cake he wanted for his birthday, he responded

Bubble Guppies!

For those of you who don't know what a Bubble Guppy is, let me explain. They are darling little mermaid-ish people who live under the sea with their dog, Bubble Puppy. (He's my favorite.) It is the only show Brendan ever wants to watch on TV. He is kinda obsessed with the Bubble Guppies.

As you can see, the cake made him pretty happy (which made me happy.) He pointed to all the characters and identified them by name. His favorite is the blonde pictured to the left of the big fish. Her name is Deema and she makes Brendan's heart go pitter patter.

Brendan had fun playing with Grandpa.

When he was opening his gifts, he pretended to eat the cookies off the wrapping paper. It was pretty funny. The boy loves cookies, what can I say.

Brendan and Carter, brothers from another mother.

Brendan and Grandma and Grandpa K

(and the new wood floors John put in - check them out!)

Uncle Russell and Aunt Laura

Megan and her BFF Lauren

Now, my sister lovingly pointed out that Megan had a pony at her second birthday party. Seriously now, who needs ponies when you can have the BUBBLE GUPPIES?????

This is How We Rock a Birthday

2011-08-18T19:59:00.006-04:00

Today started like any other . . . half dressed child, begging for bananas.

But today was different than any other day because it was Brendan's birthday!

So after breakfast we got (fully) dressed and headed out the door.

First stop: giant playground.

*insert wardrobe change due to wet slides*

Please take note of the placement (or lack thereof) of Brendan's feet.

He is dangling by his fingertips and using his brute strength to pull himself up.

As he was doing this, a little crowd of moms gathered.

They gasped and asked, "How old is he????"

2!!!

One mom said, "Oh my! He is totally rocking that climbing wall!"

He was, too. Totally rocking it!

We were the cool kids on the playground today.

All that climbing worked up quite an appetite.

I decided to break the rules of healthy eating we (sometimes) follow and treat my little man to his favorite cuisine - McDonalds nuggets and fries. Gross to me, complete delicacy to him.

Then it was home to nap and play until . . .

daddy came home and we all gathered around for our evening tackle/hug.

And a few more of Brendan's favorites for dinner - pizza and red Kool-Aid, in a real glass with ice (just like the one he is always trying to steal from mommy.) Call me crazy.

No birthday is complete without a birthday cupcake decorated by Megan

and a good coating of saliva spray for good measure.

This is Brendan trying to see if the whole cupcake would fit into his mouth at once.

(It wouldn't.)

Then it was on to some presents sent by a very thoughtful Godmother Sara

and Aunt Ruth and Uncle Bob

and Grandma and Grandpa K too.

So, like I said before, we really know how to rock a birthday around here.

We're not even done! On Sunday, we'll celebrate with a Bubble Guppies cake and a birthday party.

And now, I'll close this blog post with a list of Brendan's many talents at age 2:

Did you know he can sing his ABCs, You are My Sunshine, and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star?

One of his favorite games is climbing up to the top of the stairs/couch/table/etc. Once he's reached the top he yells, "Momma, CATCH!" at which point I have exactly 3 nanoseconds to determine where the sound is coming from, dash to his location, and catch him just before he crashes to the ground. It is so much fun!

Now, didn't I tell you we know how to rock a birthday?

The Third of July

2011-07-29T20:23:00.006-04:00

Since it is almost the end of July, I figure it is about time to share with you our Independence Day festivities. Since we love the holiday so much, we celebrated twice.

The third of July was spent in Dayton with John's side of the family. John's brothers and sisters are scattered around the country (and even the world with Paul in Bahrain!) so it was nice to gather in one place and see each other again.

We played this game called Bananagrams, also known as MakeLisaFeelStupidgrams. It is basically high pressure scrabble - you get a group of letters and have to try to make your own scrabble board in front of you and be the first to use up all your letters.

Now seriously, I'm no dummy. I scored pretty high on my SATs and I even used to be a teacher. I'm the smart one in my family. In this family, I'm at the bottom of the intellectual food chain.

Ruth would flip over her letters and all I would see next to me is the blur of her arms moving. I would look over and see her words - insidious, ostentatious, perfunctory, untenable. (*Not her actual words. I googled big, smart sounding words and here are a few I came up with just as examples.)

I would look down at my words - at, to and the pile of letters I hadn't yet figured out how to incorporate into a word.

I kinda hate Bananagrams.

So I left the Bananagrams to the big brains and I just ate some cupcakes.

Happy Third of July!

Safety Town

2011-07-01T21:18:00.002-04:00

Megan spent the last week in Safety Town.

Safety Town is a fun little place where kids go to learn all about how to stay safe.

Here is the Police Chief giving Megan a medal for completing the week-long course.

Megan really got a kick out of Casey the police dog. That car is on a remote control, has working sirens and lights, and plays "Who Let the Dogs Out." I want one.

I learned a lot in Safety Town as well, thanks to Megan correcting me fifty times a day. Did you know I reached the age of 36 without knowing how to properly cross the street, or how to properly stop at a stop sign or railroad crossing? Perhaps they should create a Safety Town for the grown-ups too. Don't worry, now that I have the junior police riding around with me, you know I'm doing it all by the book now :)

Megan's Cake Decorating Party

2011-06-30T12:31:00.006-04:00

Last week we celebrated Megan's 5th birthday with a party!

This year's cake was cheesecake cake with strawberry filling, chocolate cake with peanut butter filling, and vanilla bean cake.

Instead of doing the backyard party where everyone complains about the heat, we rented an air conditioned hall . . . and then it was a measly, comfortable 72 degrees outside.

Oh well.

My mom made Megan this apron in preparation for some serious cake decorating.

Cute, huh?

Then each kid got their own apron, chef's hat, and a little cake to decorate.

Megan took this task extremely seriously.

Cake decorating is no joke, after all.

And now for the completed cakes . . .

I think I did my yearly duty of sugaring up all of our friends before sending them home with their decorated cake.

And no birthday party photo montage is complete without a photo of the kids and Nana.

There you have it folks.

Happy 5th Birthday, Megan!

Happy Birthday, Chris!

2011-06-07T19:52:00.003-04:00

This is my father-in-law, Chris. (holding Brendan at Easter)

Chris's birthday is today.

He called earlier today and I forgot to wish him a happy birthday.

Oops.

Black mark #1.

His birthday card is still on John's desk.

Black mark #2.

Wow, it has not been a good day in the daughter-in-law department.

As I was pleading my case with him, insisting I'm not the worst daughter-in-law in the world, I pleaded that there must be something good I've done that would erase those pesky black marks.

We were able to come up with one. (I cooked him food when his wife was sick.)

Now I'm still left with one stinkin' black mark next to my name.

I've had some time to think about it and I've come up with quite a few more nice things I've done.

#1 - I married John. (Admittedly, that may not rise to the level of erasing black marks but I'm including it here anyway.)

#2 - I helped to expand the Keller clan by two members, not including myself. (Now, that's remarkable and should at least erase half a black mark.)

#3 - There is no #3. I just threw that in to make this list look longer.

Alright, Chris. I owe you half a black mark.

How's this . . .

You are the kind of man that produces a son any girl would be lucky to marry. (I really mean that.)

You never miss a birthday, anniversary, or any other important day in our lives.

You are always here for us when we need you.

I really think you are pretty cool.

Cool enough, even, to forgive half a black mark just because of #4.

#4 - I did a whole blog post just to say . . . Happy Birthday, Chris!!!!!!!!

Sniff, sniff

2011-06-06T08:54:00.006-04:00

Last week I took Megan to her very last day of preschool.

She got ALL "stars" on her report card.

She didn't spend a single moment in the "thinking chair" but did tell us some stories *with eyes wide* about some other kids that were not as successful in avoiding the dreaded chair. She's a little rule follower and I love that about her.

I peaked through the window at her last moments of preschool and cried.
I really can't believe she is going to Kindergarten next year.
I'm getting a lump in my throat just typing that.

Mrs. Zimmer, Megan's preschool teacher

Megan made a new best friend this year, Tess. At first, Megan insisted her name was Tesk (as in, rhymes with "desk.") When I tried to correct her, she insisted she knew how to pronounce it. At some point during the year, she figured out it was just Tess . . . no "k." Sniff, sniff. Pout. Hearing her say Tesk was so stinkin' cute.

Mrs. Jurden, teaching assistant

Colin, Zach, Jakub, and Megan

While these characters were busy trying to stay out of the thinking chair, their mommies and I were hanging out every Monday at the coffee shop. This is the same coffee shop where Brendan discovered his hand was small enough to stick inside the candy machine. He kept coming to me with handfuls of chocolate covered raisins, which I assumed were divinely sent. Then I realized it was larceny . . . but I digress.

So long preschool. So long thinking chair. So long coffee shop. So long chocolate covered raisins. Sniff, sniff.

Rapture

2011-05-22T21:26:00.001-04:00

I think John was Raptured!

No Excuse

2011-05-02T14:10:00.003-04:00

I have no excuse for where I've been for all these months. I've missed you and I hope you've missed me too. How about a little update on what we've all been up to?

Megan is in her second year of preschool and is loving it. She excels at cutting, coloring, and drawing but drawing is really her specialty. A while back she drew a gorgeous mural on the top of my kitchen table with a Sharpie marker. She is a true artist! Once preschool ends in a few weeks, she is excited to attend Safety Town (week long stranger-danger, fire safety, etc. class given by the city), vacation Bible school, and a week long art camp (where she'll hopefully learn the appropriate place for displaying her artistic talents.) Megan loves princesses and even woke up early in the morning to watch the royal wedding. She is about to turn 5 in June and is currently deciding between a ladybug party and a cake decorating party. She wants to be a cake baker and a mommy when she grows up. Megan is SWEET and loves to help her little brother.

Brendan is a rough and tumble boy that my dad has nicknamed Bam Bam. He is 21 months old but wears a size 3t or sometimes 4t. He is strong as an ox and is obviously really big for his age. He loves to be the center of attention. Last week when we were taking Megan to preschool, he noticed a boy who accidentally slipped on the floor got all the moms to gather around him. Brendan then proceeded to fake fall over and over and over and over, looking up and wondering why the crowd wasn't gathering around him.) He can repeat just about any word you say to him and has even starting putting two words together. His standard response to any question is, "NO!" His skills include hopping on both feet, scaling objects 3 times his size with ease, counting to 3, eating us out of house and home, knowing the sounds a cow, monkey, lion, duck, and dog make, and identifying his hair, eyes, nose, mouth, and ears. He is terrified of the cartoon Peppa Pig and runs away crying whenever he sees it on TV. We haven't been able figure out why but I'm guessing it has something to do with two eyes on one side of the snout-thing. Ahhhhhhhhhhh! So scary!

John is working at an amazing company and loves what he is doing there. In his spare time, he is growing lots of food in the garden. He honestly is the best dad I've ever seen and spends so much time playing on the floor with the kids, taking them to the zoo, etc.

I am still on city council and I've recently gotten my cake business off the ground. (more on that later.) I've been busy busy busy . . . but I really need to make the time to blog. I love to go back and re-read my old posts - so many details I would have forgotten about if I hadn't written them down.

Now, I just re-read this and it is kinda sounding like a Christmas newsletter. You know, the really annoying ones that are sickening wonderful? So, in and effort to keep it real I'm going to include this information so you don't feel the need to keep rolling your eyes.

Megan-sometimes forgets to wipe after she poops, Brendan-picks his nose . . . lots, I am losing the battle with my weight, and John . . . well, John remains perfect in every way.

I hope you hear a lot more from me soon!

Fresh Valentine Sap

2011-02-14T12:15:00.002-05:00

Dear John,

Listening to this song always makes me think of you. Happy Valentine's Day, to the man who holds my heart in the palm of his hand.

Love,
Lisa

P.S. Sorry I can't write more. Megan is nagging me to play some Justin Bieber :)

Costs of Parenthood

2011-01-21T08:13:00.002-05:00

Mommy, mommy, mommy I wanna take dance lessons. Please, can I take dance lessons? Puh-leeeeeeze I want to take dance lessons sooooooooo bad. Alright, I gues

Dance lessons: $50 non-refundable class fee

Ballet shoes: $20

Leotard, tights, tutu: $22

Look on my face when Megan said, "I don't want to dance. I want to play soccer instead."-

PRICELESS

Can I Get an Amen?

2011-01-05T14:13:00.004-05:00

Read this on facebook today . . . I am not the author . . . but seriously . . . I could have been . . .

For those thinking they want children, follow this 12 step program.

Lesson 1
1. Go to the grocery store.
2. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.
3. Go home.
4. Pick up the paper.
5. Read it for the last time.

Lesson 2
Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who already are parents and berate them about their...
1. Methods of discipline.
2. Lack of patience.
3. Appallingly low tolerance levels.
4. Allowing their children to run wild.
5. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's breastfeeding, sleep habits, toilet training, table manners, and overall behavior.
Enjoy it because it will be the last time in your life you will have all the answers.

Lesson 3
A really good way to discover how the nights might feel...
1. Get home from work and immediately begin walking around the living room from 5PM to 10PM carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 8-12 pounds, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly. (Eat cold food with one hand for dinner)
2. At 10PM, put the bag gently down, set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep.
3. Get up at 12 and walk around the living room again, with the bag, until 1AM.
4. Set the alarm for 3AM.
5. As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2AM and make a drink and watch an infomercial.
6. Go to bed at 2:45AM.
7. Get up at 3AM when the alarm goes off.
8. Sing songs quietly in the dark until 4AM.
9. Get up. Make breakfast. Get ready for work and go to work (work hard and be productive)

Repeat steps 1-9 each night. Keep this up for 3-5 years. Look cheerful and together.

Lesson 4
Can you stand the mess children make? T o find out...
1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains.
2. Hide a piece of raw chicken behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.
3. Stick your fingers in the flower bed.
4. Then rub them on the clean walls.
5. Take your favorite book, photo album, etc. Wreck it.
6. Spill milk on your new pillows. Cover the stains with crayons. How does that look?

Lesson 5
Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems.
1. Buy an octopus and a small bag made out of loose mesh.
2. Attempt to put the octopus into the bag so that none of the arms hang out.

Time allowed for this - all morning.

Lesson 6
Forget the BMW and buy a mini-van. And don't think that you can leave it out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don't look like that.
1. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment.
Leave it there.
2. Get a dime. Stick it in the CD player.
3. Take a family size package of chocolate cookies. Mash them into the back seat. Sprinkle cheerios all over the floor, then smash them with your foot.
4. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.

Lesson 7
Go to the local grocery store. Take with you the closest thing you can find to a pre-school child. (A full-grown goat is an excellent choice). If you intend to have more than one child, then definitely take more than one goat. Buy your week's groceries without letting the goats out of your sight. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys. Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.

Lesson 8
1. Hollow out a melon.
2. Make a small hole in the side.
3. Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side.
4. Now get a bowl of soggy Cheerios and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane.
5. Continue until half the Cheerios are gone.
6. Tip half into your lap. The other half, just throw up in the air.

You are now ready to feed a nine- month-old baby.

Lesson 9
Learn the names of every character from Sesame Street , Barney, Disney, the Teletubbies, and Pokemon. Watch nothing else on TV but PBS, the Disney channel or Noggin for at least five years. (I know, you're thinking What's 'Noggin'?) Exactly the point.

Lesson 10
Make a recording of Fran Drescher saying 'mommy' repeatedly. (Important: no more than a four second delay between each 'mommy'; occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet is required). Play this tape in your car everywhere you go for the next four years. You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.

Lesson 11
Start talking to an adult of your choice. Have someone else continually tug on your skirt hem, shirt- sleeve, or elbow while playing the 'mommy' tape made from Lesson 10 above. You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.

Can I get an Amen?

Bull in a China Shop

2010-12-29T16:11:00.005-05:00

Every year we get together with John's side of the family for a holiday get together and gift exchange before Christmas. This year, the extravaganza was at Laura's house. I'm pretty disappointed I don't have more pictures to show you. Instead of taking pictures, I was chasing Brendan around and saying things like . . .

Brendan, put that ornament back on the tree.
Brendan! *oh my gosh* That wasn't sentimental or anything, was it?

I promise I'll buy you a new one.

Brendan, stop pulling all the books off the shelves.

Brendan, stop chewing your food and spitting it out on the *new* carpet.

Brendan, that bottle of beer is not yours.

You get the idea.

If Laura's house was the china shop, our dear Brendan was certainly the bull.

Brendan did spend some of his time (.93873740283475 of a second) relaxing with Grandpa,

posing for a photo with Megan

and conning Aunt Kathy into sharing her water.
Heck, it is better than the beer he had tried to swipe earlier!
Ho, ho, ho.

Next year, I'm offering to host the K family extravaganza.
Brendan has already broken everything here :)

Santa Trauma

2010-12-22T15:26:00.003-05:00

In an attempt to avoid the long lines at the mall, this year we arranged a "private meeting" with Santa Claus himself at my friend Kasey's house. I dressed the kids, packed my camera, and hoped for the perfect ho-ho-ho-photo of smiling children sitting on the lap of Santa. I even had the scrapbook page all planned out in my head. It was going to be absolute magic!

Magic . . . until Brendan actually saw Santa Clause.

His perfect ho-ho-ho-scrapbookable-smile turned into this . . .

This is his totally-terrified-but-not-too-terrified-to-stop-eating-this-cookie smile.

It reminds me of when Megan sat on Santa's lap when she was about his age.

Let's take a walk down memory lane here . . .

Megan 2007

And now back to good old, terrifying 2010.

Megan didn't seem too happy about sitting on Santa's lap either. I think she forced herself, afraid of what he might bring if she didn't give him her detailed list.

She was very business-like and described exactly what she was hoping for this year.

Maybe one of these year's I'll get a scrapbookable photo of my kids on Santa's lap, but I doubt it.

CAKEcakeCAKEcakeCAKE

2010-12-20T13:43:00.004-05:00

Will you please go here and vote for my cake.

I entered a cake contest and I don't really care about winning.

I just want to beat this weird looking frog cake that someone entered.

It is really burning me up that the frog cake is beating me.

Here is a pic I stole off the website of the frog cake I'm talking about.

See how much I need your votes.

Please.

And now, some other cakes I've made recently.

This one was for a blog reader of mine who happened to live here in Central Ohio.

It was for her sister's baby shower.

This one was for an Ohio State football fan turning the big 3-0.

This ole guy was for a family Christmas party.
We cut him up into little pieces and ate him.
And he was good!

That's all for today, folks.
Tune back tomorrow when I share some pictures of my children screaming on Santa's lap.
Good times.
Good times.

Now go vote for me please!
That frog cake must go down!!!!!!!!!!

Will You Do Me a Favor?

2010-12-14T15:00:00.003-05:00

Remember this cake I made for Brendan's first birthday party?

I entered it in a cake contest and I need your help.

Will you go here and vote for my cake?

Pretty please with sugar on top?

Then do it again every day until December 27????

(You can vote once a day, every day until Dec 27)

Ask all your friends to do it too.

You can have a lets-all-vote-for-Lisa's-cake-so-she-shuts-up-about-it-party.

You can even blog about it yourself.

C'mon!

Doesn't that sound fun???

My Favorite Four Letter Word

2010-12-07T09:29:00.007-05:00

What is your favorite four letter word?
Mine is F-R-E-E . . . FREE

Did you know Shutterfly is offering a promotion this year to bloggers?

It is amazing. Simply blog about how wonderful Shutterfly is and receive 50 FREE Christmas cards. FREE! It is my favorite four letter word. For more info on this promotion, go here.

Every year Shutterfly comes out with gorgeous designs for Christmas cards. This year, their designs are nothing short of exceptional. They are very simple to use as well. All you have to do is go to their website http://www.shutterfly.com/, chose your design, upload your photo, add your information, order your cards, and voila . . . a beautiful Christmas card!

Here are some of my favorite designs . . . .

I love how simple and elegant this one is.

I love how this one has multiple photos (for those of you out there who are actually able to get more than one photo of your children without funny faces, mutual nose picking, etc.). The colors in this one are striking as well. (And p.s. - I'm secretly jealous of you non-funny-faces-non-mutual-nose-picking photo obtainers.)

And how cool is this one? It is kinda like a Christmas newsletter but I guarantee your friends won't roll their eyes when they open it up. You could include things like #10 - Both the kids made the honor roll at their exclusive, private school and #9 - The baby now speaks four languages, blah, blah blah. But let's keep it real folks. If you are like me, your top ten could possibly include #10- Finally finding the kids at Walmart after they were hopelessly lost for a half-an-hour. The options are endless.

If you want to buy one of these beautiful cards for yourself, simply click here.

Did you know Shutterfly also sells desk calendars where you can upload all of your non-mutual-nose-picking photos? Everyone needs a calendar. What a great gift idea! Click here for more info on these calendars.

And for those of you planning on having a baby in 2011 . . . Shutterfly also sells beautiful birth announcements. Click here for more info on these.

So now you've learned two things about me that you may not have known before. One, I have a hard time getting a picture of my two kids without mutual nose picking going on (eww, I hope you're not eating) and two, I'm not above shameless promotion for free stuff. Not above it one bit!

Now quit reading my blog and go check out http://www.shutterfly.com/.

Can I have my free stuff now?

And Now You Know Why

2010-12-01T10:30:00.004-05:00

Or I guess I could title this "Why No one's Heard From Me in a While."

This cake was a challenge for me. My customer wanted Handy Manny's toolbox and all the tools to be edible for his son. Just one problem - I had never even heard of Handy Manny and neither had my little sidekick Megan. A quick internet search and we were off . . .

Handy Manny's toolbox was carved from rice krispie treats and covered in fondant. All the tools were sculpted from fondant. The cake was classic white with Bavarian cream filling, iced in buttercream. I really like how it turned out!

Megan went with me to deliver the cake and was BEAMING when the customer was complimenting the cake. He asked how I got the brick impression on the sides of the cake and Megan started explaining it to him. I was so proud!

The same weekend (which happened to be the weekend after Thanksgiving), I had to make this little cake for my niece Austyn. She wanted a gymnastics cake that was pink and purple. I don't think she asked for the thumb print on the front border but I threw that in for her at no extra charge.

Now, if you drive by my house (which you shouldn't be doing unless you are my neighbor or a creepy stalker) you will still find a wooden turkey on my front porch, my beautiful fall wreath still perched on my front door, and my mums collecting a dusting of snow in their urns. I think I'm the only one in the neighborhood not yet decorated for Christmas . . . .

and now you know why.

Overachievers

2010-11-10T19:12:00.003-05:00

Every week in Megan's Pre-K class, they study a letter.

For extra fun, they have show-and-tell at the start of every class.

Students are tasked with bringing something in that begins with the letter of the week.

Before we were used to this routine, it created some scrambling in the morning.

It went something like this . . .

"Oh no!!!!!! Mom, I forgot I need a b-thing. "
This, in turn, led to a wild, sweaty, frantic search for a b-thing*

Cat. Nope. Elmo. Nope. Guitar. Nope. Farm. Nope.

Princess. Nope. Puzzle. Nope. Dog. Nope.

Seriously?

Needless to say, we now plan ahead.

We have our show-and-tell item all ready to go in the morning to prevent last minute scrambling.

This week, we lined up our G-thing with great anticipation.

Thanks, GG, for visiting Pre-K.

You were the best G-thing ever!

(And much more appropriate than a G-string . . . not that I have one of those or anything)

My Cake Workshop

2010-11-09T12:51:00.005-05:00

A while back, after answering the fifty-thousandth email I had received from a friend/neighbor/acquaintance/sister of a brother's-uncle's-mother-that-I-went-to-high-school-with with a cake question, I decided to have a cake workshop. I figured it would be totally fun and much faster than answering fifty-thousand cake question emails.

I created a little website for my venture and decided to use the cabin in NY to host the event. I thought I would be lucky if one or two people actually signed up and was shocked when I had to sell out the workshop just days after I opened the registration.

Our cake extravaganza was this past weekend.

We had so much fun!

Let's play a little game.

Remember the song . . .

"One of these things is not like the others.

One of these things just doesn't belong."

Yeah, that would be my dad who showed up at my fancy, girly cake workshop dressed in his deer slayer clothes hoping to grab some quick lunch. (The only thing missing from this picture is the giant bow and arrow he was carrying.)

I guess you are never too old to be humiliated by your family.

I moved past my embarrassment and created this simple, little Christmas themed cake.

Everyone left with a ton of new skills and a cake they decorated themselves using my techniques.
I honestly can't wait to do it again,

only this time perhaps without the deer slayer as our special guest star!

Quit Whining, Start Blogging

2010-11-03T12:03:00.004-04:00

So I finally thought of a solution to my "poor-me-I-am-so-behind-in-my-blogging-I-just-can't-sleep-at-night-problem." The solution . . . quit whining and start blogging.

So here goes . . .

Halloween 2010 began with the annual pumpkin carving contest.

Megan got into the action this year making the contest a three-way race.

She carved this pumpkin all by herself (with the use of a template and a non-sharp pumpkin carving thing-a-ma-jig. (technical term)
Still, quite impressive for such a youngster!

I think she has her momma's competitive gene.

John and his spooky spider provided some tough competition.

My spooky pirate skull thing was definitely a contender as well but the top prize ended up going to the four year-old. I mean, seriously, who has ever heard of a four year-old carving her own pumpkin? She must be destined for greatness (or at least we think so.) And I'm destined to lose this pumpkin carving contest so long as she is all cute and little and such.

And since I was unable to come up with any new, creative Halloween snacks this year we recycled the Frankensnack idea from last year. This, by the way, is how meaningful traditions are born.

So now our meaningful, Halloween traditions include these green headed pudding cup things. Then we made mummy dogs . . .

Caution: Megan's scary mummy dog face ahead.

If you frighten easily, stop reading now!

No Halloween is complete without the annual door-to-door quest for candy.

This year, Megan said she wanted to be a bowl of spaghetti, no a cupcake, no a princess. no a cupcake, no a bowl of spaghetti, no a cupcake. She also has my gene for decisiveness I guess. ha!She finally settled on the cupcake and I was excited. I figured, how hard can it be to make a cupcake costume?

Then I spent 48729037532 hours making, remaking, and fixing this costume, I decided next year's costume is coming from Walmart. (yeah, right)

Here is my little cupcake cutie. I think her costume turned out adorable.

Megan said, "I look so good I want to take a bite out of myself." ha!

Here is my superman, wearing a costume that is a size 3t-4t.

Remember folks, he just turned ONE!

He looks like he's ready for kindergarten.

Our neighborhood friends.

And that's all I have time for today folks.

Quit whining, start blogging. How's that for a new motto?

Hopefully you'll be hearing more from me soon.

Perhaps

2010-10-31T15:46:00.003-04:00

I am so behind in my blogging it is interfering with my sleep.

Seriously.

I lay in bed and think of all the blog posts I need to do just to catch up with the here and now.

For example, I need to do posts on Laura's wedding, our trip to Niagara Falls, the Delaware County Fair, Leed's Farm, our trip to Disney . . . I'm sure there is more in there I am forgetting. Perhaps I'll get our Halloween photos up before the Fourth of July.

Perhaps.

First Day of Pre-K

2010-10-08T10:10:00.003-04:00

Megan started Pre-Kindergarten after working very hard last year to make it through the rigorous Preschool curriculum, with honors! (Ha, just kidding about the "with honors" part . . . but if they had honors in preschool I'm sure my sweet Megan Kate would have received them.)

Here she is with her cousin Colin who is in her class again this year.

There they both go running ahead, excited to start another school year.

Another school year begins and the most boring blog post ever concludes!

Cake Baking Fool

2010-09-27T10:13:00.002-04:00

I've been a cake baking fool lately.

Since I feel like a lost puppy without a cake to make, I've decided to turn this into a little business. After tossing around several ideas in my head, I've finally decided to call myself Sugar Kisses Cakery - Baking life sweeter, one cake at a time. It reminds me of the sugary kisses I get from Megan when she licks the beaters and helps me "cake bake." My orders have come mostly from word of mouth or friends. I'm working on getting a basic website together with my computer genius husband and I'll let you know when that is up and running. For now, you'll just have to settle for this little old blog that doesn't get updated enough.

I made this cake for John's sister Laura's wedding. It was white almond cake with raspberry filling, iced in vanilla buttercream. You can't really see in the picture but at each intersecting line, there was an edible pearl dragee. The bow and the monogram were made from fondant. The monogram plaque was outlined in teeny tiny pearls and was my favorite part of the cake. This is the largest cake I've made so far . . . 200 servings. The florist brought the wrong flowers (they were supposed to be the same gorgeous ones from her bouquet) but that's ok. I think this cake would have looked pretty with dandelions on it, but I guess when you spend 84237598470 hours working on something . . . you better like it!!!!!! I was really proud of this cake, especially since it was only my second wedding cake AND I managed to get it to the reception 1.5 hours away without it crumbling, tipping over, or falling apart. I shed a few tears of relief when she was placed safely on the table at the reception, and then a few more when we had to cut her up and eat her.

I made this cake for my nephew Carter's first birthday party. It was almond cake with raspberry filling and fresh lemon cake with raspberry filling, iced in vanilla buttercream. I sculpted the animals from fondant to match his safari themed birthday party.

I made this cake for a sweet little customer's baptism. It was almond cake with raspberry filling (popular combination).

This one was for a little girl's third birthday party. The bow and the number three were purple but for some reason the pic makes them look blue.

I also have another little business venture to tell you about. I've decided to host a cake workshop at the cabin in the woods (but we're calling it the "cake cottage" because we're fancy like that.) Read all about it here. I only have a few spaces left and I'm really surprised at the interest in this. If you want to learn how to "cake bake" come join us :) We are going to have an absolute blast filled with all kinds of some stay-at-home-momma drama.

Be Kinder Than Necessary

2010-09-17T13:44:00.005-04:00

I know, I know. I'm not blogging enough. I have tons of things to share . . . Megan's first day of school, Laura's wedding, etc. I promise I'll get to them. I just want to take a second to tell you a little story . . . a little life lesson that was made clear to me today.

A few days ago, I started getting calls from an older lady. She was trying to reach Camilia and clearly had the wrong number. She called, and called, and called. Each time I would clearly explain that I was Lisa and not Camilia. I told her she was dialing the wrong number. Then she started leaving messages on my voice mail for Camilia. I called her back and told her Camilia didn't get her messages because she was calling my number and not Camilia's.

As the calls continued for several days (at least 6-7 a day) I felt myself growing increasingly annoyed. I wanted to scream each time the mundane activities of my day were interrupted by this lady. I wanted to scream, but something inside me took over. I felt sorry for this poor woman who couldn't reach Camilia. Instead of responding with annoyance, I was kind. At first, I just wished her luck with reaching Camilia. When she apologized, I always told her it was ok and made sure to tell her to have a nice day. I finally asked her what number she was trying to dial. The area code plus the first seven digits of Camilia's number were the first seven digits of my number, minus my area code. I called the number she was trying to reach to tell Camilia she had someone who desperately wanted to get a hold of her. Instead I got a recording that said the number was disconnected. When I called the lady back to explain to her that Camilia's number was disconnected, she thanked me for my kindness in trying to help her. She explained her husband recently passed away and she was trying to reach Camilia (her late husband's insurance agent) for assistance with his estate. She apologized for the number of times she bothered me and thanked me again and again for how patient I was with her.

Oh my gosh, I could have been short with her. I could have yelled at her for continuing to call the wrong number over and over. I could have made someone suffering through the loss of their spouse feel even more terrible . . . but I didn't. I'm so glad I didn't.

I tell you this story not to brag about how great I am (I'll do that in my next post when I show you Laura's wedding cake - ha). I tell you this story to remind you of one thing . . .

Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.
-Billie Holliday

Wouldn't it be really great if this story ended with the old woman telling me her husband was a gajillionaire and that she was looking for someone to give his fortune to. It doesn't. Sorry.

Brendan's Barnyard Bash

2010-08-31T20:27:00.008-04:00

I'll never forget my little guy's first birthday party.

The week before his party

(as I was working feverishly to get things together)

I noticed I wasn't the only one feverish.

Brendan was sporting a temperature of 101.5.

Yikes!

Turns out he had hand, foot, and mouth disease.

No problem . . . just reschedule the party to next weekend.

Then Megan got it . . .

Then John got it . . .

Seriously?

Seriously.

Since we don't let a little coxsackie virus slow us down,

we decided to carry on with the barnyard bash

the following weekend . . . rash or no rash. (Ewww!)

Actually, we informed all the guests to enter our contaminated barnyard at their own risk.
I'm so glad some decided our heebie jeebies were worth the risk . . .

after all, every child deserves over-the-top first birthday, right???

It think it is a requirement.

I did my best . . .

The cake was fresh lemon with raspberry filling and white almond with raspberry filling. The barn was carved from rice krispie treats and covered in fondant. I sculpted all the little farm animals from fondant. I loved this cake. LOVED IT.

(I made those little sheep out of chocolate covered cake balls. Aren't they cute?)

And no dessert table would be complete without sugar cookies!

I made this for the front porch and realized

there would be some who would make fun of me . . .

and some who would recognize the creative genius of it all.

I hung this on the front door.

I made the silverware look like carrots because I'm a dork like that.

(Don't even try to lie . . . I know you're running out right now to get yourself some green forks and orange napkins to make your own little carrots, aren't you?)

And here is my little farmer boy, Brendan.

And my little cowgirl Megan.

Here is Megan moo-ing in the sign I painted.
This, of course, led to everyone wanting a turn.

Here's Austyn.

And me :)

And Aunt Katie.

Brendan and Carter . . . too cool for the cardboard cow.

Here is John and Brendan watching the slide show of Brendan's first year.

And no birthday photo montage would be complete without a photo of Nana and my little guy.(Only, compare the size of him to Nana . . . not so little, huh?)

Looking at this picture makes me want to call Nana to make sure Brendan didn't break her hip or anything.

It was so wonderful to have our family and friends with us to celebrate Brendan's birthday. We shared a lot of things together . . . love, laughter, great food, sweet memories. Let's just hope we didn't share our coxsackie.

And in lieu of party favors, we sent our guests home with a squirt of antibacterial hand gel.

That concludes my tale of Brendan's Barnyard Rash . . . I mean bash!

Super Mario

2010-08-26T07:11:00.008-04:00

Every year around the time of Colin's birthday, I get a little giddy. Yes, I'm happy to celebrate my little nephew's birth and all but what really gets me is the cake. Yes friends, the cake. Colin's cake is always fun to make and he always has the best reaction to it.

This year, he wanted a Super Mario Brothers cake. My first task was figuring out what the heck a Super Mario Brother actually was. I probably spent more time researching what creatures, decorations, etc. would actually go the cake than making the cake itself. (Although that may be a toss up.)

Colin LOVED his cake. He liked it so much, when Justin asked him if he wanted to go swimming, Colin said *sigh*,

"I just wanna sit and look at my cake a little bit longer."
How's that for a great reaction!

The mushroom was chocolate/chocolate chip cake covered in fondant. The middle tier was chocolate/chocolate chip and the bottom tier was white almond sour cream cake. Both tiers were filled and iced with vanilla buttercream.

I made the scary brown mushroom guy, the red mushroom guy, and the spiky turtle out of fondant. All the decor on the cake itself was fondant. The Mario, Luigi, Yoshi were toys that Colin got to keep.

And this is Justin's FRART. (Fruit + Art)

It is supposed to be a Mario cart (steering wheel on left, spoiler on right.)

Justin and I have a friendly competition going to see who can create the "show stopper" of the birthday party . . . his FRART vs. my cake.

I'll let you decide who won (although it was clearly me.)

This year . . . and last!

Justin's FRART 2009

Lisa's cake 2009

I think the score is . . . Lisa's cake 2, Justin's FRART 0

Maybe next year, Justin :)

Enough with the walk down memory lane, let's get back to a random photo from Colin's birthday party.

And one that Megan took before we left the house.

And by the way, Justin . . . I think your FRART is POOP (Positively Outstanding Period)

Dear Bam Bam,

2010-08-18T21:43:00.006-04:00

You turned one today. How is that possible since it was only yesterday that I heard the doctor say, "We have a linebacker on our hands!" when he first lifted you from my belly. I held my breath until I heard your first cries. You wailed, I breathed, and so your first year of life began.

You did quite a bit of wailing your first few months of life, actually. I don't remember breathing then but I suppose I must have. Most of my actions then were automatic. I was so sleep deprived I felt like I was walking around in a perpetual fog. They were difficult days but I'll tell you what . . . I'd go back to them in a heartbeat if you would just be little again. I would welcome the 45 minutes of sleep at a time and the hours of crying from 3 am to 6 am every night if you would just fit into my arms the way you did back then.

I've said this before, but I wish life had a magic rewind button. If it did, there are so many moments I would be enjoying with you over and over again . . . your first smile, the first time you wrapped your little fingers around mine, the way we would snuggle together when everyone else was sleeping, the funny look on your face the first time you tried fruit, the first time you rolled over, how absolutely determined you were to stand up on your own, and how you would clap for yourself so hard you would knock yourself over. I would rewind and enjoy your first steps all over again. I would enjoy that proud little smile of yours a bit longer. I would listen to your adorable belly laugh over and over. I would watch with amazement at how early you learned just about everything - from rolling over at 3 months, crawling at 5 months, to standing up at 6 months, to walking at 10 months and talking at 11 months.. I would listen over and over again to hear you say your first words -mama, dada, baba, Bridget (yes, Bridget, although it sounds more like jit jit but I know what you mean, ball, and pop.) I smile when I remember Megan teaching you to say "ball" and how you ran over to me with the ball in your hand, so excited that you could say the word. Moments like today when you woke up from your nap would be played and replayed many times. I would watch you put your little arms around me, hug me, and give me one big, fat, wet kiss after another. Why can't life have a magic rewind button?

I guess it forces me to live in the present . . . to look forward to the future instead of being preoccupied with the past. The realization that I can't live those moments over again makes me want to focus more on the here and now and try to squeeze the most out of every little moment.

I couldn't love you more, little man. To me, you are still that little man that used to only weigh 9 pounds 2 ounces (even if you only weighed that for about 10 minutes. ha, ha) I can't wait to see what kind of adventures we will have together this year.

I love you with all my heart and couldn't be more glad you joined our family a year ago today.

Love,
Momma

July 2010

Me and you at Clearwater Lake, Michigan

(Megan took this picture.)

Darn Country Music

2010-08-17T16:16:00.006-04:00

I'm an emotional basketcase today.

My baby boy turns one tomorrow and I can't stop crying. I don't understand where the last year went. I want to go back and relive it all over again . . . this time in slow motion so I can remember to cherish the moments, take them completely in, and pay attention to all the little details that time steals away.

Either that or I'm listening to way too much country music today. I love country music because it is full of so much heart.

Like this song, for example.
Listen to it, think your kids growing up, and try not to cry. I betcha you can't.

Go here to listen to the song and watch the video.

In the early rush of morning
Trying to get the kids to school
One's hanging on my shirttail
Another's locked up
In her room
And I'm yelling up the stairs
Stop worrying 'bout your hair
You look fine
Then they're fightin' in the backseat
I'm playing referee
Now someone's gotta go
The moment that we leave
And everybody's late
I swear that I can't wait'
Till they grow up
(Chorus)
Then they do
And that's how it is
It's just quiet in the morning
Can't believe
How much you miss
All they do
And all they did
You want all the dreams
They dreamed of
To come true
Then they do
Now the youngest is starting college
She'll be leavin' in the Fall
And Brianna's latest boyfriend
Called to ask if we could talk
And I got the impression
That he's about to pop the question any day
I look over at their pictures
Sittin' in their frames
I see them as babies
I guess that'll never change
You pray all their lives
That someday they will find happiness

(Chorus)

No more Monday PTA's
No carpools
Or soccer games
Your work is done
Now you've got time
That's all your own
You've been waitin' for so long
For those days to come

*weep, weep*
Darn country music does it to me every time.

Seriously MIA

2010-08-06T23:03:00.005-04:00

Dear Chris (my wonderful father-in-law),

Thank you for calling to check on me. I assure you that I am still alive although you'd never know it by reading my blog.

I'm going to share with you an actual day in the life of me . . .

This day just happened last week and will leave you with a much better understanding of why I haven't been blogging. As you read this, you may be tempted to believe I am exaggerating. You may be tempted to think this much ridiculousness (is that a word?) can't happen all in one day. I assure you, it can . . . and it did.

7:30 am - Megan gently wakes me up by screaming in my face, "Momma, wake up! I'm starving."

7:31 am - Up and at 'em!

7:32 am - Why is Brendan so quiet??? Is he still sleeping? Maybe I'll be able to eat my cereal without a baby wiggling on my lap. NOPE! No such luck. He is quiet because he is busy smearing poop all over the crib, wall, bumper pad, sheets, etc. (for the second time in 2 weeks.)

7:33 - 7:45 am - Carry Brendan to the tub (trying not to get any poop on my nightgown), bathe Brendan, and listen to the pleasant background music of Megan whining about how hungry she is and begging me to "HURRY UP!" ahhhhhhhh

7:45 - 8:00 am - Run downstairs, give Brendan his breakfast, make Megan her breakfast, hurry up and try to sit down to eat *my* breakfast before Brendan starts whining to get down from his highchair.

8:00 am - Finally sit down to try and eat my breakfast. One bite in and . . .

8:01 am - Brendan starts whining to get down. Stop eating, get Brendan down.

8:02 am - Resume trying to eat my breakfast. Brendan starts whining for me to pick him up. Pick him up, now he's wiggling to get down. Put him down. Now he's whining for me to pick him back up. Pick him back up. Now he's wiggling for me to put him back down.

8:03 am - Who need breakfast anyway? Throw plate in sink, start playing with kids.

8:04-9:00 am - Pull out every toy, game, puzzle, etc. in the whole house, making sure there isn't one single inch of it that is presentable . . . should someone happen to unexpectedly knock on the door later. (foreshadowing)

9:00 - 9:30 am - Make beds, throw in laundry, fold laundry but leave it in a great big pile on the couch downstairs, walk through the cornstarch that Brendan got out of the cupboard (child locks are useless) and track it all over the house, notice the stupid dog peed in the dining room, about to go up and get dressed but . . . oh yeah . . . the whole crib is full of poop still.

9:30 - 9:50 am - Change crib sheets, use fingernail to chip off dried poop from crib rails, run and check on kids downstairs, sanitize everything in Brendan's room, run and check on the kids again . . . why is it so hot in here? . . . wash hands 50 times, hope the kids aren't killing each other downstairs.

9:50 am - Blood curdling scream from downstairs. Brendan bumped his lip on the coffee table and it is bleeding everywhere. Run down the stairs, jump the baby gate, use my nightgown (yep, I'm still not dressed) to prevent the blood from staining my cream sofa and light beige carpet (both of which I bought before I knew anything about the staining power of a child).

9:51-10:50 am - Soothe Brendan, make Megan a snack, trip over some toys, check the thermostat certain it is broken . . . it says 72 - not broken - why am I sweating like a pig if it is only 72 . . . make Brendan a bottle and finally get him down for a nap. About to go try to get dressed again when . . .

11:00 am - Doorbell rings . . . dog goes crazy barking . . . JUST PUT THE BABY TO SLEEP!!!!!!!! I open the door a crack to tell them to go away and guess who it is? A TV reporter asking for an "on camera" interview about a city council related issue. Seriously? I'm in a nightgown (long after it is even close to appropriate to still be wearing pajamas) smeared in blood and a perhaps a tiny bit of poop, yesterday's mascara smeared down my cheeks, teeth not brushed . . . can you picture it???? Now I've got a news camera on my porch! Perfect . . .just perfect . .

11:01 am - Politely decline interview (hoping they can't smell my breath through the crack in the door.)

11:02 am - Doorbell rings again . . . (I'm not kidding) . . . dog starts barking . . . ahhh, Brendan is sleeping . . . open the door to tell them to go away and it is the Vice-Mayor! He is here to warn me the news cameras are coming to my house. *too late* Through the crack in the door, I ask him to hold on just a second.

11:03-11:05- Jump baby gate, dash upstairs, remove blood and poop stained pajamas, put on a t-shirt, shorts, brush teeth, brush hair, wipe mascara from my face with one hand and put deodorant on with the other, dash back downstairs and open front door again, pretending to be pleasantly surprised by the unexpected visit. Oh, you want to come in? Sure, that would be just lovely. *insert fake smile*

11:06 am - Walking through the house with the Vice-Mayor . . . kicking toys aside as we go . . . the smell of poop still lingering in the air . . . can't sit in the family room there is laundry all over the couch . . . can't sit at the kitchen table, Megan is there eating ice cream out of the container with a giant spoon . . . what, Megan is eating ice cream out of the container with a giant spoon????? I'm so embarrassed I almost don't notice Megan wearing princess underwear, and ONLY princess underwear.

Needless to say, we decided to sit outside on the patio . . . it was such a lovely day and such.

As I was sitting there, dying of embarrassment, I wanted to tell him so badly that there are days when I'm dressed by 8:30 am. There are days when I proudly display pristine vacuum lines on all my carpets with the toys neatly stacked. There are days when there is room on my couch to actually sit down. There are days when Megan wears more than princess underwear and my house doesn't smell like a port-a-potty.

I just haven't had any of them lately.

And now I leave you with concrete proof that we are alive . . . and occasionally dressed enough to actually go to the park . . .

Fondly,

Lisa

P.S. Just in case any of this leaves you concerned, don't be. I have everything completely under control.

Candyland Birthday Party

2010-06-27T11:50:00.023-04:00

Can you believe my little girl is 4????

Oh my goodness, where does the time go?

When I asked her what kind of birthday party she wanted, it is no surprise Megan said she wanted a candy party. Healthy eating can be such a bore sometimes. Besides, a candy party sounded totally adorable so I was more than happy to oblige.

Here is the lollipop invitation I made . . .

I ~~totally copied~~ was inspired by an invitation created by Cherry Blossom Way on etsy. I steal some of my best ideas from etsy.

Totally cute and totally simple to do.

My next task was to plan the cake. Megan said she wanted a topsy turvy, whimsical cake (and yes, she actually used the word "whimsical." We spend a lot of time watching cake shows together.)

Everything on the cake was edible except for the lollipop sticks. It was a classic white cake with vanilla buttercream filling, coated in chocolate ganache and covered with marshmallow fondant.
Megan loved it!

She also really liked the dessert/candy buffet. It seemed to be a big hit with the under 10 crowd!!!!

Info on how to make the tissue paper pom poms is here.

My mom made the adorable table runner for the table.

These little cupcake treats are made from cake balls and melted chocolate.
I used chocolate cake and cream cheese icing and they were delicious. For instructions on how to make them, check out Bakerella here.

Some sugar cookies with royal icing . . . yum!

I decorated the outside too.

Welcome to Candyland . . .

Info on how to make the lollipop decorations is here.

I made a little sign for the front door.

I decorated the backyard with some more lollipops and these cute little candies in the trees. To make them, I just covered sturdy paper plates with tissue paper, then wrapped them in gift wrap cellophane and tied ribbons on the ends. I punched a hole in them and looped some ribbon to hang them.

The night before the party, Megan and Brendan spent the night at my mom's house so John and I could put things together for the party. Here they are arriving the day of the party . . .

I love how even Brendan is smiling at the idea of a party full of candy.

The looks on the faces of the girls was priceless! And we can just help ourselves to whatever we want? YEP!

Megan's lollipop dress came from here.

We played Pin the Cherry on the Ice Cream Cone, a game idea I stole from my friend Heather's party, only she used a cupcake. Thanks for the great idea Heather!

The face painting station was a big hit with the kiddos.

And Aunt Laura too!

We played "hot potato" only I called it "pass the gumball" to go with the theme. I played a candy mix CD that John created from songs we found on i-tunes and when the music stopped, whoever was holding the gumball was "out" and had to go eat a piece of candy.

I think the kids really enjoyed themselves . . .

Then we opened gifts and had cake and ice cream.

We really appreciated the thought that went into choosing gifts so perfect for her. She really is blessed by wonderful family and friends.

And since I determined that the 14403958233 milligrams of sugar the kids had so far wasn't quite enough, we clobbered the heck out of this pinata (found at Hobby Lobby) for even more candy.

Fun!!!!!

And here is Nana . . . she taught my baby how to hold his own bottle.
He didn't get any candy but seemed to have a great time anyway.

We sent all the kids packing with a treat bag loaded with . . . more candy, a CD of the candy music that played at the party and of course . . .

A TOOTHBRUSH!!!!

Fun in the Sun

2010-06-14T15:47:00.005-04:00

A backyard water party . . .

This little water mat kept Brendan occupied for 1.3 seconds and really gave me a chance to kick back, relax, and watch the kids enjoy themselves.

And I knew you'ld be mad at me if I didn't include a photo of myself so here you go . . .

You are welcome.

Why I Have NO Time To Blog

2010-06-07T11:29:00.003-04:00

A Photo Essay . . .

The Grass Is Always Greener . . .

2010-05-27T17:35:00.004-04:00

Today Megan looked at me after I got out of the shower and said,

"Momma, how can I get my boo boos to look like yours?"

Interesting question. Well, Ms. Megan, here is how you get your boo boos to look like mine. First, you need to get pregnant, gain 70 pounds, watch your boo boos grow to inhuman proportions, have the baby, nurse the baby, watch those they-can't-possibly-get-any-bigger boo boos get even bigger, stop nursing, lose the 70 pounds, watch the boo boos deflate like old balloons, turn 35, get pregnant again, gain 50 pounds, watch your boo boos grow to inhuman proportions, have the baby, nurse the baby, watch those they-can't possibly-get-any-bigger boo boos get even bigger, stop nursing, lose 35 pounds (still workin' on the rest), watch the boo boos deflate like old balloons again, and get ready to turn 36. That, Ms. Megan, is how you get your boo boos to look like mine. Thanks for asking.

P.S. Thank me later for not including a photo with this post :)

Almost as Cool as the Swiss Alps

2010-05-13T10:10:00.006-04:00

We took a little trip to Chicago back in April.

Since it seems I have very little time to blog these days, I figured I'd give you the abbreviated version. Hey, better than nothing right?

First, we visited the John Hancock Observatory.

96 stories to be exact.

We had a nice dinner (too busy eating to take photos).

We didn't even have to chop it up in little pieces for anyone. Amazing!

Then we went back up in the Hancock Observatory to see what it looked like after dark.

'Cause when you spend that much money on drinks, you take pictures of them!

And now I have to tell you a little story about one of the most romantic moments of my life. I was sitting next to my husband (whom I haven't had a real conversation with in approximately 8 months) on the 96th floor of the Hancock Observatory. Seeing the city lights below was awe-inspiring and one of the most amazing views I have ever seen. It was one of those views that makes you realize how small you really are compared to the giant world around you. I squeezed John's hand and said, "Is this just incredible to you????? Probably not, huh, since you've been so many different places. You've been to Japan, all over Europe, seen the Swiss Alps, etc. This is probably nothing compared to those places." Then he looked back at me and said, "Yeah, but YOU weren't there with me when I saw those places." *melting heart* Then he corrected me and said he hadn't ever seen the Swiss Alps :) Ha!

*Stay tuned for more of our Chicago adventures . . . visiting with Ruth, eating deep dish Chicago pizza, seeing the Shedd Aquarium . . .

Because I Don't Ever Want to Forget

2010-05-06T09:17:00.004-04:00

If you are my friend on Facebook, you've already heard this little story. If you aren't my friend on Facebook, you really should be. BUT, it you don't already have a Facebook account . . . be forewarned. It is as addictive as crack cocaine and a BlackBerry. By the way, Nana calls my mom's BlackBerry her "blueberry" by mistake and it always cracks me up. Just imagine (in Nana's croaky old voice) . . . "Deb, your blueberry is ringing.") *insert me giggling in the background

But I digress . . .

This was my status update yesterday on Facebook . . .

I'm including it here because these are the days . . .

the days filled with all the little things . . .

I don't ever want to forget.

Went outside to get the mail today (while holding Brendan) and said to myself . . . "Wow, how odd it is raining on such a gorgeous, sunny day." I then realized Brendan was drooling and the wind was blowing it right in my face. Nice.

More Cakes

2010-05-04T09:44:00.003-04:00

A few months ago, my sister asked me how much I would charge to make a wedding cake for a girl at her work. At first, I was like "Oh no way. I cannot handle the stress of making a wedding cake for someone. I'm not good enough to make a wedding cake. There is no amount of money in the world that could change my mind. No wedding cakes. Never. No way."

Then she asked me again and I said yes. Way to hold my ground, huh?

So, in my panic I knew I needed a new fondant recipe. The old one was getting too dry on me and wasn't flawless enough for a wedding cake. This cake had to be perfection. OMG.

I practiced a new recipe on my friend Andrea's birthday cake.

She didn't know she was the cake "guinea pig."

She just thought I was being all nice and sweet bringing a surprise cake to her party. Works for me!

The new recipe had some corn syrup in it and it made all the difference in the world.

So here is my first wedding cake ever. It was half chocolate cake, half french vanilla. The whole cake had vanilla butter cream filling and was covered in marshmallow fondant. The beads were edible and painted with luster dust to give them a shimmer. It was the bride's design. That was the hardest part for me. If I was going to spend 92385720948375 hours making a cake, I wanted it to be something that reflected my taste. I had to remind myself that I had to create my customer's vision instead of my own.

I'm including this picture because I liked the cake better without the beads.
I also would have liked a little scroll design, an ivory cake, brown ribbon, a monogram topper . . . ah, there I go again.

Know anyone else who needs a wedding cake?
I have the PERFECT design in mind.

Then, I made this little cake for my dad's 60th birthday, the morning before I delivered the wedding cake. I proved to myself I could do two cakes in one weekend.

I've been seriously thinking about starting my own little cake business.
If you know anyone in the Columbus, Ohio area that would like a cake for a baby shower, wedding (I'll give you an AMAZING PRICE), bridal shower, birthday party, graduation party, etc. just let me know. Email me at lmk710@columbus.rr.com for a price quote.

Now I need a little name for my business.
What do you think?

Waiting for More

2010-05-03T08:23:00.003-04:00

Most days I have a choice during Brendan's first nap . . . exercise or blog . . . exercise or blog . . . exercise or blog . . .

Not that you can tell from looking at my thighs but exercise has been winning lately. (I'm only down about 20 pounds.) I've been exercising like a mad fool and I think it is time for some balance.

This week, I'm going to catch you up on all the fun that has been going on lately. We took an awesome trip to Chicago, finally bought a Wii, Brendan can do all kinds of new tricks, Megan got her hair cut, Brendan had his first hair cut too, I made some new cakes (including a wedding cake) . . .

Wow, the kinda stuff that has you chomping at the bit waiting for more, right?

The Golden Egg

2010-04-20T10:16:00.005-04:00

Let's pretend Easter wasn't forever ago.

Let's pretend it just happened and you can't wait

to see how we celebrated.

OK? Perfect. Thanks.

It all started with an empty Easter basket

and the city's annual Easter Egg Hunt.

Now, let me tell you something about this egg hunt.

There is just one egg out there

that is a little more special than the rest.

In these parts,

we refer to it as . . .

The finder of this egg is entitled to a special prize at the end of the hunt.

Now, on this particular day the sun was shining just so and the golden egg was visible from the starting line . . . almost taunting us with its sparkle.

We immediately surveyed . . .

Yikes!

We clearly needed a strategy.

Megan decided she would run straight for the golden egg,

even if it meant leaving behind the other eggs on the way.

She wanted that golden egg.

I have to admit, I wanted it to.

I mean, I wanted her to have it of course!

Then, the organizers announced this ridiculous

rule that you couldn't run. No running at all?

My first inclination was to tell her to run like the wind,

get the golden egg,

then say,

"What? I'm only three.

Helloooooo!

Now where's my prize?"

Except that I'm an adult

and I'm supposed to be mature enough

to do the right thing. Being an adult is

SO LAME sometimes!

So here we are WALKING and picking up eggs.

Oh yeah, and some other kid

ran to get the golden egg.

I told Megan that doing the right thing

feels better than getting the golden egg.

I think she believed me even though I lied.
ha!

But, let's see who got the last laugh.

Whose picture was on the front page

of the newspaper the next day, looking all cute

picking up Easter eggs?

The rule-breaking golden egg stealer?

Nope.

Miss Megan Kate was.

(If you would like a copy, just ask.

I only bought approximately 7366347

copies of the newspaper that day.)

At some point we colored Easter eggs too.

I love the serious look on her face here.

And then we waited for the Easter bunny

to hop on over and deliver the treats . . .

There is more to this story, like decorating the bunny cake and the egg hunt at my parents' house. Perhaps I'll get around to posting that before the Fourth of July rolls around.

He Said, She Said

2010-04-19T20:34:00.003-04:00

So John and I were tag team wrestling our son in an attempt to give him medicine. When some dribbled on Brendan's face, John grabbed for a blanket (yes friends, a blanket!) to wipe it off just as I grabbed for an over-priced, disposable wet wipe.

The following conversation ensued . . .

L: (Looking at the BLANKET with wide eyes) I can tell you don't do the laundry!

J: (Looking at the over-priced, disposable wet wipe with wide eyes) I can tell you don't make the money!

Ha, ha! Touche!

A Poopy, Wonderful Day

2010-04-16T12:58:00.003-04:00

Dear St. John,

I wish I had more time to write about how awesome you are and how much I love your birthday. Here's kinda how my day has gone so far . . .

This morning as you were leaving for work, I was sharing a nuzzle with Brendan and feeling grateful that you go out into the world everyday so I can stay home. Just when the warm fuzzies were setting in, Brendan leaned in for what I thought was a kiss. Turns out he felt like belching and then followed that up with some spit up . . . right on my lips and chin. Then he pooped all over his diaper and his pajamas and his changing table and later in the morning I even found some on MY pajamas.

Then I remembered I had a doctor's appointment and had to jump in the shower to get ready. Good thing, too, cause I may or may not have been still wearing some of Brendan's poopy. I stepped out of the shower to find our naked daughter dragging my suitcase (which still isn't unpacked from last weekend's trip to Chicago). She said, "Mommy, I'm so sorry I got poop in your suitcase. I hope there is a way we can clean that out of there." What? Turns out she pooped on the potty while I was in the shower and neglected to wipe herself. Then she sat in the suitcase to play rocket ship and voila . . . poop in the suitcase. Fantastic.

Just a little later I took the dog out on her leach and she started chasing a stupid cat . . . thus dragging me across the yard and well, yep, right into a pile of poop. Seriously. That dog honestly hates me and I think she did it on purpose. Regardless, I've had quite a bit of poo poo to deal with this morning . . . all before 10 am.

I'd love to do a post about how wonderful you are when I'm not elbow deep in someone else's excrement. Have a wonderful birthday :)

Your loving wife,

Lisa

P.S. I promise I washed my hands before I made your favorite birthday dinner - spinach/feta/sun-dried tomato stuffed chicken breasts (which, by the way, is slow cooking in the crockpot.) Oh yeah, and your lemon crumb cake filled with homemade lemon cream is also prepared and waiting for you. I don't let a little poop slow me down.

P.S.S. I'm totally in love with you and can't imagine my life any other way. (a little less poop would be nice though)

True Story

2010-04-07T22:07:00.006-04:00

Meet Rocky.

(Not an actual photo, duh.)

He was the newest member of our family.

I bought him when my niece Brianna spent the night.

She somehow convinced me she was deprived because she never owned a fish.

When I explained to her I couldn't send her home with a fish without asking her parents for permission, she offered to let this fish live at my house.

I'm a total sucker.

So, like I said, meet Rocky.

He was the newest member of our family.

He lived in Megan's room in his own tank next to Mona.

Then, on Easter morning, I noticed he had bit the dust.

Kicked the bucket.

Bought the farm.

On Easter?

Yes.

On Easter.

So, we did the "usual" when one of our fish dies.

Bury him in the backyard?

Have a little service and say how much we loved him?

Of course not!

John went to the store to buy another one just like him for the old switcheroo.

Here's what happened . . .

(phone rang . . . it was St. John from the store)

And yes, it was open on Easter.

John: They don't have a betta that is blue and red or even anything close to Rocky.

Me: Oh my gosh, are you kidding me? Do they have a plain blue one? A red one? You can't come home until you find a f-i-s-h. It is E-a-s-t-e-r. Oh my gosh. She'll be scarred for life! She'll have nightmares about bunnies and chocolates and d-e-a-d f-i-s-h. (Being ultra careful to spell everything out just in case Megan was listening.) ha!

Then Megan looked at me and condescendingly said,

"Mommy, are you talking about my fish 'cause I really think you should TELL THE TRUTH. He's dead. You should not tell a lie. You should just tell the truth."

(Jaw hit floor . . . )

John came home, life went on, and Rocky got flushed down the toilet.

T-r-u-e s-t-o-r-y.

That Easter Bunny Stole My Money!

2010-04-02T10:21:00.002-04:00

That Easter Bunny stole my money!

Well, not really but it sure felt that way.

$19.99 for a picture with the Easter Bunny?

Seriously? You must be joking.

Last year they let you take a picture with your own camera . . .

for free!

This year they looked at me like I had just committed a felony

when I pulled out my own camera.

I should have just taken the picture anyway.

Ha! Can you imagine me running through the mall,

pushing the stroller with one hand,

dragging Megan with the other hand,

and the Easter Bunny chasing me to confiscate my illegally taken photo.

Shoot!

Totally should have done that.

Oh well.

Aren't my babies cute?

Oops, I Did It Again

2010-04-01T09:41:00.004-04:00

April Fools!

That wasn't very nice of me, now was it?

Right about now, John is sitting in front of a computer somewhere cleaning up the coffee he just spit all over the place.

Honestly, my oven is currently bun free.

(I better not have just jixed myself!)

I have a personal policy - no new babies until I've worked myself out of the large marge clothing from the last one. Well, guess what . . . I'm still sporting large marge clothing.

I'm seriously afraid my brother is going to yell FREE WILLY when

I swim in my mom's pool this summer. That sounds like something he would do.

So, that reminds me . . . I haven't updated you lately on the weight loss effort. It is not like I haven't been working on it, just haven't had the time to write about it.

I'm down 16 total pounds.

I just make the font bigger there so it seems like more than that.

The truth is, I've been pretty frustrated with the SLOWNESS of the process this time. I feel like it should be more than that by now but I'm not getting discouraged. It is moving in the right direction and that is all that really matters. If you are new to my blog, let me catch you up. I eat like a giant pig when I'm pregnant, leaving me with 60 pounds to get rid of after Megan (I did it!) and 40 pounds to get rid of after Brendan (I'm working on it.)

I'm still doing the crazy hard Biggest Loser Cardio Max workout but I've added Jillian Michaels Banish Fat, Boost Metabolism workout to the mix. That chick is a sadist. Pure evil I tell you!

I also took my measurements. I have a feeling the scale isn't reflecting all my hard work, since I've been working out pretty hard lately. I can feel some renewed muscle. (The only problem is it is buried in there under a cozy layer of chub.) I'm waiting a month to measure again, which will be Monday, April 12. I'll fill you in on how I did then.

I'm writing down my weight, exercise, and weekly goals on paper. It has really been helping me to stay on track. Writing it down makes it more real even if you don't show anyone.

Oh yeah, and I dance whenever possible. I always have a song playing in my head to reflect what I'm doing. (Kinda like when I was uploading that picture of the preg. test, I was singing Oops I Did It Again and dancing around in my chair. Or when I wake up in the morning, sit up in bed, and see John brushing his teeth is his birthday suit I start singing "You're packed and you're stacked, especially in the back. Brother, wanna thank your mother for a butt like that." (Yes, that is honestly a song.) Sing and dance whenever possible. I'm not sure it helps with weight loss but it is kinda fun nonetheless.

Now I have that stupid song in my head.

Go dance!

YUM

2010-03-30T09:08:00.006-04:00

Cakes make me happy.

Licking the beaters when I'm done makes Megan happy.

Win/win situation as far as I'm concerned.

The only problem . . . I need more reasons to make cakes.

They are just too fun!

Here is a cake I just made for my preggo neighbor who loves chocolate . . .

It is chocolate cake covered in chocolate fondant. It is filled with chocolate chips and vanilla buttercream. All the decorations are marshmallow fondant.

Aren't these baby booties too cute?

(all edible . . . even the shoelaces)

And some of my other cakes . . .

Can you tell I have cake on my brain?

My Practice Child

2010-03-23T09:35:00.006-04:00

I have a little confession to make.

Up until about a week ago, my three-year-old little girl still sucked on a binky to fall asleep. My other mom friends would make fun of me for allowing this to go on, talking about stupid stuff like binkies giving kids buck teeth, blah blah blah. (Are you joking? She is going to get a whole new set of teeth anyway. These teeth are just temporary little chewers until the real deal comes in. Let's not take them too seriously folks.) I decided Megan could keep her binky until she decided she didn't want it anymore, or her husband got sick of hearing sucking noises from her side of the bed, which ever came first. Then I realized it was probably time to get rid of the thing.

I talked to Megan about the Binky Fairy coming in the night and taking the binky away and giving it to a poor little binky-less baby who needed one. When the poor little binky-less baby angle didn't catch hold, I tried another approach. The Binkie Fairy sprinkles fairy dust! Still no. The Binky Fairy brings you presents!!!! (shameless) Guess what? Still no. Actually it was, "I'm just not ready." Ok then. Not ready. That's fine 'cause I don't think I'm ready either.

Then about a week ago I went out shopping for some spring clothes for the kids. As I was showing John some of Megan's new clothes, I told him Megan now wears a size 5. (Megan overheard this conversation.) Later that day, Megan says "Mommy, I'm ready for the Binky Fairy to come." What? You're ready? Where did that come from? Megan informed me that since she was five-years-old, and since five-year-olds don't suck on binkies anymore, the Binky Fairy could now come and take it away. Hmmm, interesting. You are 5?

Yep, I skipped 4 and now I'm 5.

So I did what any rational mother would do . . . I let her continue to believe she was actually 5.

Here's what happened next . . .

She got to sleep in Mommy and Daddy's bed that night since the first night was kinda rough. The Binky Fairy left a fun stamp set and a little tiny dog that isn't real. (Megan asked for a giant, scary chicken but the Binky Fairy is afraid of scary chickens.)

So now we're left with this little problem . . . Megan still thinks she is 5. I've told her she is a size 5 but is actually still 3 years old until her birthday but she argues with me and insists she is 5. She tells everyone that she is 5 now. With wide eyes she explains that she skipped 4! Wow, how exciting! Now what in the heck am I gonna do? I should have never gone along with her thinking she was 5, even if it made her ready to give up the binky. I didn't even care if she kept the stupid binky. What is wrong with me?

I think I've said it before . . . she is my practice child. I'll do much better with the next one, I promise.

Indigestion

2010-03-14T22:18:00.004-04:00

Last night, we attempted to go out to dinner for the first time as a family with two kids instead of just one. We chose a little Mexican dive in our town for two reasons - it is cheap so we wouldn't be too disappointed if it didn't work out so well and two, they bring your food really, really fast.

Here is where Brendan started out.

And where he ended up.

If you had been sitting near us (good thing you weren't), here is what you would have heard . . .

Stop pushing the table please.

I didn't hear the magic word.

Megan, get your hair out of your food.

Who keeps moving the table?

Be careful, you are going to spill your drink.

Megan, you just got ketchup in your hair.

Can we please have some more napkins?

Watch it, Brendan almost grabbed your hot plate.

No Megan, you cannot squeeze the lemon all over the place.

Where are the napkins?

Watch out. Brendan keeps grabbing for that plate.

Who the heck keeps moving the table?

Megan, eat your food please.

Gross, Brendan is biting the edge of the table.

Why don't they ever give you enough napkins for Pete's sake?

Megan, more eating . . . less playing.

Stop it. You're going to spill my drink.

Look at that puddle of drool Brendan left on the table.

Seriously, we've used all the napkins?

Megan, for the last time, eat your food.

What did Brendan just put in his mouth?
Sure, dip your french fries in whatever you want.
*Through gritted teeth* Stop moving the table!!!!!

Yes, we are ready for the check now.

And as we were leaving, Megan came out with

"Mommy, I'm hungry."

Next time I'm hungry for food someone else cooks, I'm calling a sitter.

Billy Bob's

2010-03-11T09:43:00.011-05:00

Let the weekend recap begin . . .
Cooters in the Lone Star State '10

I'll start with my favorite part - Billy Bob's Texas

The Worlds Largest Honkey Tonk

It has pretty much everything a cowboy would like - the smell of manure in the air, beer and whiskey, country music, lots and lots of cigarettes, and barbecued meat . . . all in one place.

Most classy establishments have neon signs.

And here is your rodeo lesson . . .

Sorry for the poor picture quality.

I don't take very good pictures while shrieking, "Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God."

I honestly thought the bull was going to kill the cowboy right there in front of us.

While wondering aloud what was making the bull quite so angry, I was informed by a local they tie a rope around his privates and pull really hard.
No wonder that bull was mad!

All that stress made us really thirsty.

We took funny pictures like this one . . .
(Photobombing - the fine art of spoiling a photo by jumping in on the action.

We laughed quite a bit over Sara's photo bomb. Everything seems funnier with these girls.

Thanks to a little technique called "cropping" this photo is suitable for posting.

Now, let's talk about about the local dress code.

In order to come to Billy Bob's Texas Honkey Tonk, the following fashion rules apply:

1. The bigger the belt buckle, the better.

2. Cowboy hats are not just for country music stars.

3. Tight Wranglers make Texas women swoon.

This is Walt, a real Texas cowboy.
I told him I was from Ohio and asked if I could get my picture taken with him.
If you go to the Liberty Bell, you get your picture standing next to it. Then you go home and show all your friends how cool the Liberty Bell was. Well friends, this is how cool a cowboy is . . . belt buckle and all.

Then, in an attempt to immerse myself in the local culture, I decided I must learn the Texas Two-Step but felt it would be inappropriate for a married woman to dance with someone like . . . Walt for example.

Luckily, this guy was available. This picture unfortunately cuts off the can of chew he had in his back pocket. Charming.

He smelled like he rolled around in an ashtray and he was missing several of his teeth, but I did learn the Texas Two-Step, and missed my computer nerd of a husband all the more.

We did do other things, like shop and eat and ride roller coasters. How about I catch you up on all that stuff in another post?

I'm no longer whooping it up in some nightclub in Texas.

I'm back to real life with night waking babies and more poopy diapers than a cowboy would know what to do with.

God Blessed Texas

2010-03-03T19:53:00.003-05:00

My toenails are polished, my mustache/unibrow are gone thanks to some carefully placed Nair (shhh, don't tell anyone my little secret), and my bags are almost packed. If I get any more excited I'm going to jump out of my skin.

It is almost time for Girls' Weekend '10 -

Cooters in the Wild West

I've spent most of the last week holed up in my craft room, scrappin' my little heart out to finish up the pages from our last girls' weekend . . . times 4 . . . one for each of us.

Holy moly.

But, you know, what good is ridiculous fun if someone isn't going to document it for all posterity?

Tomorrow, I'll hop on a plane with my sister Katie to fly off to the Lonestar State to meet up with my cousins Sara and Mary. Please don't think for a second I won't be hoping this hunk-a-burnin' love is our pilot.

Hubba hubba.

Although I hear he has quit his day job. Yuck.

This weekend will include all of our favorite things . . .

good music, good food, shopping, a hotel with room service, dancing, sleeping through the night, a roller coaster ride . . .

(This is from our trip to the Ozarks. We are totally enjoying ourselves in case the looks on our faces lead you to believe otherwise.)

We might even check out a rodeo while in Texas.

Oh boy, I see a mechanical bull in my future!

I'll tell you all about it when I get back.

Until then, I leave you with a little ditty I can't stop singing.

'Cause God blessed Texas with His own hand Brought down angels from the promised land Gave 'em a place where they could dance If you wanna see heaven brother here's your chance I've been sent to spread the message God blessed Texas

Brendan - 6 Months

2010-03-01T11:36:00.005-05:00

Dear Brendan,

Your "babyhood" is just whizzing by so quickly. I can't believe you are 6 months old already. You are growing way too fast. Way. too. fast. At your six month check-up, you weighed 26 pounds and were 28.5 inches long. (Well above the 95th percentile for height and weight) Twenty-six pounds! Some kids don't weigh that much when they are a year old. Needless to say, lugging you around is taking a toll on my back. Extra-strength Tylenol has become a good friend of mine lately. I'm trying to teach you how to walk because I'm seriously not sure how much longer I'm going to be able to carry you around. GG says you feel like a bag of cement. I agree . . . a really cute bag of cement.

You wear a size 18 months and just recently went from a size 4 to a 5 diaper. The doctor told me to stop feeding you so much. Instead of drinking 5-10 ounce bottles, he says you should have four-8 ounce bottles. You are a hungry little guy, that is for sure.

The doctor asked if you could roll over yet. Uh, yeah . . . like 2 months ago! I guess he didn't remember how advanced you are. (So, of course, I reminded him.) I also brought up that you are able to creep around on the floor and sit up all by yourself. You really are pretty amazing.

You are astonishingly strong and tough. Changing your diaper sometimes turns into wrestling match. Your grip is fierce. Your hands are so big Aunt Katie said if you were a puppy, she would tell me not to buy you (cause you are going to get too big.) ha, ha Everyone who holds you says they can't believe how strong you are. You actually wiggled yourself right out of GG's arms the other day and fell on the floor. She screamed and felt terrible. I heard you land and ran into the room, my heart beating a mile a minute. You just laughed on the floor and thought you were rough-housing with her. (I'll bet there are people out there reading this wondering how in the world an adult couldn't manage to keep hold of a 6 month old baby. You are no ordinary 6 month old baby!)

Here is a little video of you creeping on the floor. I took it a couple weeks ago and you are already so much faster. Now I put you down in the family room and in a few seconds you are in daddy's office.

I love you like crazy . . . you strong, fiesty little man!

Love,

Mommy

Tales from the Man Cave

2010-02-23T09:14:00.005-05:00

Ever have a completely circular argument with your spouse, and in the middle of it realize how ridiculous and circular it really is, causing you both to break down into laughter rather than complete (win) the argument?

Before I describe this ridiculousness, I should tell you that John's office has a couch and TV in it. I should also tell you he falls asleep watching TV in this office more often than I would like.

It never fails that when he is downstairs in his office, Brendan and Megan both tag team their wake ups, keeping me up all night while he is blissfully unaware in the confines of his "man cave."

I should also tell you that John and I both used to share the philosophy of no TV in the bedroom. We used to think it interfered with the marital relationship and prevented that evening "pillow talk" so we never put one in our room. I changed my mind when Megan started waking up at the crack of dawn and I realized I would be able to stay in bed for another hour if I only had a TV in my bedroom. Who has energy for "pillow talk" anyway? I mean, seriously. We've agreed to disagree (not really.)

So last night as I was going up to bed, here is the ~~argument~~ conversation:

L: I'm going to bed. You better be coming with me and not falling asleep in this office.

J: Why does it bug you so much that I fall asleep down here?

L: Because it interferes with the marital relationship. You're supposed to sleep up in bed with me (so I can kick you when one of the kids is crying and ask you to go get them.)

J: I'm sorry. Sometimes I have a hard time falling asleep and I watch TV until I drift off.

L: Another reason why we should just put a TV in our bedroom.

J: No, it interferes with the marital relationship!

*Ridiculous laughter, argument over*

Ummm, hello? A TV in the bedroom can't interfere with the marital relationship if you're not even in the bedroom.

I think I won. Don't you?

Snow Days

2010-02-21T21:00:00.001-05:00

A couple weeks ago it started snowing . . . and it didn't really stop for what felt like a really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really long time. Really.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. Allow me to start at the beginning . . .

In preparation for the big Valentine party at school, Megan signed her little name on each Dora valentine for her classmates. She was so excited for the party . . . she almost couldn't sleep just thinking about the cookies and the treats . . . and then the snow came . . . and came . . . and came . . . and preschool was cancelled. Cancelled? You can't cancel school on the day of the preschool Valentine party. You just can't!

I had to think fast . . .

How about we have our own Valentine party???

Cookies? You want to make cookies?
Sure!

Oops, no eggs.

Good thing my neighbor who is a teacher had off from school too and brought us some.

Thanks Dena!

Ta-dah, Valentine cookies!

Then it kept snowing . . . and snowing . . . and snowing . . . and guess what? The preschool Valentine party was cancelled again.

Seriously.

Again.

Oh the humanity!

I knew I had to come up with something good to keep Megan busy.

Something better than the six katrillion zillion games of Candyland we usually play.

How about we make Moose and Zee pillows?

That sounds totally fun, right?

(Moose and Zee are the little characters from Nick Jr. but if you have young kids, you already know this.)

It ended up taking a little longer than I planned.

Step One - Give Megan something to cut while working feverishly to get something done before Brendan needs food/attention/bottom wiping/face wiping/etc.

Step Two - Short break to marvel at Brendan's new tricks. Wow!

Step Three - Admire Moose and keep working feverishly to finish Zee.

Step Four- Stop and tell a few jokes to Brendan so he doesn't get bored and scratch his face again.

Step Five - Feed Brendan with my feet while making a Zee pillow with my right hand as my left hand holds the phone to hear somebody yelling at me because their street isn't plowed yet. (I guess there are no snow days when you're on city council.)

Ta-dah! By the next morning, we had Moose and Zee pillows.

Then, guess what?

Preschool was cancelled again.

Not even kidding.

I was out of ideas so we just looked out the window and watched people get stuck in the snow all day.

One best parts of snow days . . .

putting kids to bed, taking the baby monitor outside, and finally getting some romantic alone time while shoveling the snow and wiping the snot dribble off each other's faces.

I looked at him and thought . . .

if I had to be buried in the snow with anyone, I'd want it to be Brad Pitt.

(But if he wasn't available, I'd definitely want you!)

Just Another Day in Paradise

2010-02-13T11:34:00.006-05:00

Dear John,

I was so excited for our big plans this weekend. Valentine's Day! Big date! Just you and me!
Yeah, then Brendan got sick and threw up in my ear. The pink tulips you bought made me forget all about that. You are so sweet. Now I'm sick too, sipping Nyquil instead of red wine. I think Megan has a case of the nose dribbles as well. I guess the money we set aside to finally have a date will be spent on doctor co-pays and Childen's Tylenol.

This all reminds me of that song by Phil Vasser. You know the song, right? Here it is. Totally reminds me of "us" lately.

The kids screaming, phone ringing
Dog barking at the mailman bringing
That stack of bills - overdue
Good morning baby, how are you?
Got a half hour, quick shower
Take a drink of milk but the milk's gone sour
My funny face makes you laugh
Twist the top on and I put it back
There goes the washing machine
Baby, don't kick it. I promise I'll fix it
Long about a million other things
Well, it's ok. It's so nice
It's just another day in paradise
Well, there's no place thatI'd rather be
Well, it's two heartsAnd one dream
I wouldn't trade it for anything
And I ask the Lord every night
For just another day in paradise
Friday, you're late
Guess we'll never make our dinner date
At the restaurant you start to cry
Baby, we'll just improvise
Well, plan B looks likeDominoes' pizza in the candle light
Then we'll tippy toe to our room
Make a little love that's overdue
But somebody had a bad dream
Mama and daddy
Can me and my teddy
Come in to sleep in between?
Yeah it's ok. It's so nice.
It's just another day in paradise.
Well, there's no place that
I'd rather be
Well, it's two hearts
And one dream
I wouldn't trade it for anything
And I ask the Lord every night
For just another day in paradise
Well, it's ok. It's so nice.
It's just another day in paradise.
Well, there's no place that
I'd rather be
Two hearts
And one dream
I wouldn't trade it for anything
And I ask the Lord every night
For just another day in paradise
For just another day in paradise
Well, it's the kids screaming.
The phone ringing
Just another day
Well, it's Friday.
You're late
Oh yeah, it's just another day in paradise

Happy Valentine's Day! I love you! Gotta go . . . I think I hear a kid screaming, the phone ringing, the dog barking at the mailman bringing that stack of bills . . .

Love,
Lisa

Weight Watcher Wednesday - Killer Cardio and Chicken Marsala

2010-02-10T13:58:00.010-05:00

Update - I'm down 10 total pounds.

Disappointed with that meager number, I've just started a new workout challenge.

(Other than dancing in my family room, recording it, and putting it on the internet.)

I am so excited about this exercise video I'm telling everyone I know about it.

I don't even watch the Biggest Loser.

I tuned it for a show or two and got so turned off with how mean Jillian was to those poor people that I stopped watching. Her brand of motivation just seemed like humiliation and exploitation to me. But anyway, I bought this tape because there were not a whole lot of other options at the store. Boy was I surprised!

Seriously, I'm no wimp. I made it through the police academy and used to be able to do 105 push ups. And I stress "used to be able."

This workout was HARD CORE.

The tape is six week progression, with weeks 1-2 consisting of 5 minutes of warm up, 20 minutes of cardio, and 5 minutes of cool down. In later weeks, more cardio is added in 10 minute increments.

I did the first workout and was completely amazed. In 20 minutes, this tape accomplished more than 60+ minutes of step aerobics. I could feel it the next day in places I didn't even know I had. This tape even works you harder than Turbo Jam and step aerobics combined. Whoa.

Hard, but in a good way. Hard in a I-feel-amazing-when-I'm-done kind of way. Hard, like in-a-few-weeks-you're-gonna-be-able-to-bounce-a-quarter-off-my-butt kind of way.

You know, like Kim Kardashian's butt.

She's my butt idol. Do you have a butt idol? If not, you should get one. Butt idols are fun.

But anyway, back to the workout tape.
It is only 30 minutes. C'mon, if you've been through childbirth, you can certainly make it through 30 minutes of this. Give it a try. You won't be sorry, I promise you that.

Now, how about for a delicious recipe???

Chicken Marsala

Calories 224, Fat 4.2 g, Fiber 0.9 g

4 5-ounce skinless, boneless chicken breasts

1/4 cup flour

1 tsp oregano

black pepper

1 tbsp olive oil

2 cups sliced cremini mushrooms

2 tbsp chopped parsley

3/4 cup marsala wine

Pound chicken breasts to a 1/4 inch thickness between two sheets of plastic wrap. Combine flour, oregano, and black pepper on a plate or in a bowl. Dredge chicken breasts and set aside. Heat oil on medium heat in a large skillet. Saute mushrooms until softened, about 6-8 minutes. Remove from skillet and set aside.

In the same skillet, cook chicken breasts for 6 minutes, turning once half way through. Remove and keep warm. Return mushrooms to skillet, add parsley and marsala wine. Reduce liquid by about half. Return chicken to skillet and cook for 1-2 minutes more.

Serve with seasonal vegetables and a whole lotta rump shakin'.

For your dancing pleasure today, it is an oldie but a goodie.

C'mon now, let me see your tootsie roll.

Holy Shiz

2010-02-02T13:31:00.004-05:00

Being a mom is funny.

Sometimes you need to look up the answer to a pressing baby care issue

. . . and sometimes the question has a way of answering itself.

Yesterday's question:

Is the whole container of prunes too much for occasional infant constipation?

The answer my friends is . . .

Yes.

The whole container is WAY TOO MUCH.

Have you ever . . .

2010-02-01T10:02:00.002-05:00

found pictures on your camera you know you didn't take?

Ouch, that one looks like it might have hurt a bit.

Brendan, I think you can probably blame

your burned out retinas on your big sister.

OK, so if he was in his crib and she is only a few feet tall, how in the world did she get this angle?
Climbing, I presume.

This is his please-don't-fall-on-me-I-just-

got-this-body-a-few-months-ago look.

And just where was the supervision while all this was going on?

I think we need a nanny.

Weight Watcher Wednesday

2010-01-27T11:53:00.002-05:00

OK, I do realize I haven't kept up my end of the bargain when it comes to

checking in with you weekly about my weight ~~gain~~ loss.

First, there were these snickers bar cookies that wouldn't stop getting eaten by me.

I would share the recipe but that would be like swearing in church or something.

This is after all "Weight Watcher Wednesday."

Then there was Christmas Eve, Christmas day, New Years . . . and I gained a few pounds.

Shhhh, don't tell anyone.

I want it to be our little secret.

You know . . .between you, me, and the rest of the internet. A real secret.

Anyway, I'm down about 7 pounds now and I feel like I can face you again.

It has been a lot harder this time around than when I lost my baby weight from Megan.

I have much less time to exercise. Like . . . none actually.

I'm also so sleep deprived that I don't seem to have the energy many days to workout.

This one particular day, I was in a total funk.

I was feeling sorry for myself because of the pudge, the sweatpants, the total lack of time to dedicate to getting my body back into shape. Boo hoo!

Then I remembered this little thing I used to do to sneak in some exercise . . .

The Dance Party

I'm not sure if you realize it or not, but I can shake it like nobody's business.

I decided to use my camera to make a little exercise video for you . . .

free of charge.

I'm so sorry.

My camera ran out of memory before I could show you most of my moves.

Next time, I promise.

But just remember, if I can dance to "I'm Bringing Sexy Back" wearing fruit and spit-up covered sweatpants, anyone can!!!!!

When that song was over, I played "Put a Ring on It" by Beyonce and I found my inner Sasha Fierce.

Then I played "Just Dance" and became Lady Gaga.

Then I started "Living La Vida Loca" with Ricky Martin.

Before I knew it, I was dancing, sweating, and rump shaking all over my house. Megan was too. Brendan just looked at us both like we were crazy. We were actually, and it was great fun.

Lesson learned: You don't need the gym, Jane Fonda, or Kathy Smith. All you need is your rump and a some good music.

Isn't working out with Lisa fun???????

2010-01-19T09:54:00.008-05:00

Dear Brendan,

Yesterday you turned 5 months old. Where has the time gone? I realized I've gotten very behind in documenting your life on my blog. You leave me very little time my dear. Very little time.

Three Months

What a cute little rascal you were at three months! Still big for your age, you wore a size 6 months, sometimes even size 9 months.

You gave me quite a time little guy. Here is a sample schedule for you at three months :

12 am - Crying

1 am - Crying

2 am - Sleeping in my arms

2:02 am - Crying

3 am -Crying

4 am - Crying

5 am - Crying

6 am - Now we're both crying

OK, slight exaggeration. Slight. You wanted to nurse around the clock, had to be carried everywhere you (we) went, and couldn't be put down. If I attempted any small outing, you would scream in your car seat until I gave up and came home. I called the pediatrician crying so many times I think they put a red star on your chart with *crazy mother written next to it.

Even though you were a tough baby at three months, I loved the heck out of you. We developed a special bond during all those sleepless nights.

Your big sister Megan was also completely in love with you. She would sing to you to help you stop crying.

You tried cereal for the first time.

I hoped it would help you sleep better at night.

It didn't.

Four Months

Two days into your fourth month on November 20, you stunned as all by rolling over from back to front. I put you down on Aunt Katie's floor on your back. Next time I looked at you, you were on your tummy! The baby book says most babies roll from front to back first because it is easier. This proves you and the word EASY just don't get along :)

Here is my photo shoot to document your amazing display of agility and coordination.

At your four month check up, you were 26 1/2 inches (90th percentile) and weighed 20 pounds (above the 95th percentile). In other words, you're HUGE. By the end of month, your size 9 month clothes no longer fit and you needed size 12 months. And you're a tough guy too. When the nurse gave you your shots you didn't even cry!

Speaking of crying, you stopped doing this for hours during the day once you could play in your exersaucer and bring toys to your mouth to chew. I love that exersaucer.

You started eating fruit during your fourth month. We started with applesauce, bananas and peaches. You always make a funny face with the first spoonful - like it is the worst tasting food you've ever had. Then you whine for the next bite and I can barely spoon it in fast enough.

As far as sleeping goes, you slept all the way through the night twice. Then you stopped. We still wrap you in the miracle blanket, waiting for the sleep miracle that has never come. The doctor told me to let you cry it out so I tried that. You cried for 2 straight hours and I couldn't take it anymore.

I know if I let you cry the sleep situation would probably resolve itself but I just can't do it. Every one of my instincts prevents me from standing by and listening to you cry. Some babies may learn to settle themselves with this technique and I think that is great. I will not, however, let my four month old little baby cry hysterically for longer than two hours. Just can't do it. So, for now, I guess we'll just be seeing a lot of each other at night.

Even if we're all walking around like zombies, you are so worth it. Your smile and laughter (you started laughing out loud this month) warm my days and make the long nights so worth it. I love you baby boy!

Love,

Your tired mommy

Lip Gloss and Prarie Hats

2010-01-13T10:19:00.008-05:00

I got a blog award.

I love blog awards.

They make my day.

Thank you Melissa.

Now I'm supposed to tell you seven random things about myself.

1. I used to be the five-oh. Yep, I was the police. (in a car that had lights on the top and everything) All five foot two inches of me. I was a high school teacher too, but that wasn't nearly as interesting.

2. I drink Kool-Aid made with Splenda every day. My insides are probably tropical punch red. Even though I know it isn't good for me I just can't stop. I guess it is better than beer. (or is it?)

3. When I was a teenager, I used a rescue ladder to climb three stories down from my bedroom window (to meet up with my boyfriend). When I realized I couldn't get back up, I had to ring the doorbell - fully dressed with makeup on - in the middle of the night. My dad didn't believe me when I said I thought there was a fire. I think Brendan's colic is my payback for this event and others similar. I was a handful as a teenager.

4. It really bugs me when people think stay-at-home moms have no education, are miserable, and are home because they have no other choice. I voluntarily left a great teaching job with excellent salary/benefits. I have a master's degree, I'm not at all stupid, and being at home with my babies is the best decision I've ever made. So there.

5. When I was little, I was obsessed with Little House on the Prarie. My mom made me a prarie hat and I wore it to school every day. Did the kids laugh at me? Sure but I didn't care. I was Laura Ingalls Wilder.

6. I apply lip gloss at red lights. One time when I was the police, I was touching up my lip gloss at a red light and looked over to see the person in the car next to me shaking their head. What, the police shouldn't wear lipstick?

7. The other day I was doing a puzzle with Megan and out of the blue she said "Mommy. I wanna tell you a little secret." I leaned down and she whispered in my ear "Mommy, I love you." One of the best moments of my life.

Christmas 2009

2010-01-12T10:15:00.007-05:00

Santa Claus was very good to us this year.

I think this was the first year I wasn't the first one up, ridiculously excited to open presents.
That prize went to Brendan this year.

He was the first one up . . . several times in fact.
(Although I think he was more ridiculously excited about a
diaper change and a bottle than the presents.)

Megan was very excited to get the Elmo guitar she asked for from Santa.

Here she is making some beautiful music for us.

She's already gone through one set of batteries - lucky us.

This contraption right here has saved my life.

Instead of holding Brendan under my left arm while I do EVERYTHING,

he plays/drools/spins/chews in this thing.

It gives me just enough time to

~~blog, Facebook, shop etsy~~ prepare nutritious family meals,

do laundry, make beds, etc.

Guess she really likes Polly Pockets.

Megan gave John this shirt to wear while they watch the Buckeye games together.

We put the "little tiny goat that's not real" in a random box to wrap it.

When Megan unwrapped it, she said, "Oh wow. A new fan! Hooray!"

Hmmm, I'm glad she's grateful but if I had known she would love any random thing we wrapped up, I could have saved myself a bunch of money at Toys'R Us. Maybe next year.

Here I am with my angel and angel stand for my nativity set.

Megan and her "cootie."

After unwrapping and playing with all the new toys and games for several hours, we were off to GG and Grandpa's house for some more fun.

Can you tell they all got video games for Christmas?

It was a wonderful Christmas.

It was our first Christmas with a new little member of our family.

It was the first year Megan really "got" the whole Santa Claus thing.

(She even spied Rudolph's nose on the way home from Aunt Katie's on Christmas Eve.)

Oh yeah, and I should tell you I made Snickers Bar cookies for the first time.

And that, my friends, explains why you haven't heard from me in a while on Weight Watcher Wednesdays. Don't worry, the cookies are gone, and so are the few pounds they added to my bum. I'm back in the saddle, tree bark oatmeal for breakfast and everything . . . and I'll be in touch about that weight loss.

Christmas Eve

2010-01-07T09:46:00.010-05:00

The festivities began with a pretty dress and sparkle party shoes . . .

Then we were off to Katie's house for the annual gathering with our family and my sister's husband Justin's family.

The most important part of the evening

(except for the whole celebration of the birth of Christ thing) is the

Ornament Exchange.

It is a cut-throat, take no prisoners, do-whatever-it-takes-to-leave-with-the-best-ornament exchange. (Although it seems every year I'm the only one who takes this quite so seriously.)

Here I am putting my game face on . . .

It is my don't mess with my concentration I'm about to pick the best number face.
The best number means you choose your ornament last, and can steal from anyone who has gone before you. As you can see, it is a game of pure skill.

I did not pick the best number (like last year) but I did pick second best.

Katie cheated. But anyway . . .

Nana began the game by choosing the largest gift bag. The largest gift bag ended up being a terrible choice because it contained this . . .

It was a non-ornament. The nerve!

It was brought by

After publicly chastising him for screwing with my game, I suggested he not be invited next year. I threatened a little bodily harm for good measure. Merry Christmas Todd, but you don't mess with the ornament exchange. You just don't.

This ornament ended up being the most sought after ornament of the night.

The moment I first laid eyes on it, I know it had to be mine. Visions of stealing it began dancing in my head.

I knew better than to tell John to steal it for me. He never listens to me during the ornament exchange.

He chose this lovely little snowman.

And Katie chose the the glittery, sparkly ornament I contributed to the exchange.

Remember that beautiful ornament I just had to have? It was most certainly

I felt such a sense of victory.

I felt pretty good, too, about not having to steal from a little kid like last year.

Then it was stolen from me.

I almost threw a temper tantrum.

Ok, I actually did throw a temper tantrum. Then I stole another ornament.

And once again it was stolen from me.

*insert another much bigger temper tantrum*

I ended up stealing the ornament I brought myself.

I also threatened to jump the person who ended up with my original choice on the way to her car. Christmas Eve brings out the best in me.

Then we all went home and patiently waited for Santa Claus to arrive.

Family Christmas #1

2009-12-31T09:54:00.005-05:00

As usual, I'm behind in my blogging.

I haven't told you about an event I look forward to every year . . .

The Keller Family Christmas Party

This year, John and I hosted the party on December 19.

Family gathered from near and far . . .

Dayton, Cincinnati, Chicago, central Pennsylvania and Indiana.

We sang carols . . .

shared a few giggles . . .

spent quality time with our sweet loved ones . . .

and felt the joy of Christmas through the eyes (and wide open mouth) of a child . . .

Most importantly, it was a time to gather together and realize . . .

there is just nothing like the warmth of family, the magic of Christmas, and the sense of peace that comes from knowing you are loved by so many.

To you and yours . . .

2009-12-24T14:12:00.002-05:00

“Behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, which is Christ the Lord.”

(Luke 2:10-11)

Merry Christmas to you and yours!

Just in case . . .

2009-12-17T13:42:00.010-05:00

I'm ever kidnapped by aliens or decide to run away with the circus, I've decided someone else on the planet should know how to properly put Brendan down for a nap.

Step One: Feed him an 8 oz. bottle of formula. If you're extra-talented like me, you'll use your other hand to make Megan a sandwich, your foot to answer the phone, and your other foot to do a load of laundry. Don't forget to burp him.

Step Two: Wrap him in the miracle blanket. He will not sleep without it. Then again, he won't sleep with it either. Just wrap him. I'm not really sure why.

Step Three: In his bedroom, walk around and bounce him gently while quietly whispering, "Shhh shhh shhh." If your arms get tired, you might be able to sit down in the rocking chair. Then again, you might not. Toughen up!

Step Four - After about 45 minutes of this, you might think he is asleep. HE'S NOT. Keep walking/bouncing/shhhing for at least 20 more minutes.

Step Five - Ok, he's asleep.

Step Six - Slowly, and I mean slowly, lower him into his crib. Oops, not slowly enough. He just opened his eyes. Repeat steps three and four . . . again.

Step Seven - OK, he's asleep. Ooops, no he's not. Go back to step four again.

Step Eight - Alright, let's try this again. Slowly lower him into his crib. Like, so slowly, that if people were video recording this, the only way they would be able to tell you were actually moving was to play it in fast forward. That's how slowly you need to move.

Step Nine - Attempt to delicately extricate your arms from under him. Be very careful!!! Moving too quickly during this critical phase of the process could set you all the way back to step one.

Step Ten - Creep out of his room.

Step Eleven - Awesome! He's sleeping. You now have approximately 8 and one half minutes until he wakes up. Great job!

Sitting Here

2009-12-16T11:32:00.003-05:00

with a bunch of tears streaming down my face.

That husband of mine! That sweet husband of mine.

He sent me this song today from work.

Even with two screaming kids, a cat that won't stop throwing up, and a dog that hates me (seriously hates me), a broken ice maker, six loads of laundry laying on our bedroom floor, and some substance (of unknown origin) all over the family room carpet . . . we still got it!

Megan's Letter to Santa

2009-12-15T09:55:00.004-05:00

Dear Santa,

This is Megan. I've been a good girl. This year for Christmas, I would like an Elmo guitar, a little tiny goat that's not real, Littlest Pet Shop and Polly Pockets. I really love candy in my stocking, especially candy canes. Please bring my baby brother Brendan some toys and please don't be mad at him. He cries a lot. Goodbye.

Love,

Megan

3 years old

Christmas Miracles

2009-12-13T21:03:00.007-05:00

When I was mommy to only one child, I had the time to fret over inconsequential things,

like the yearly Christmas card.

I would start planning the Christmas card in mid-October, early November.

Seriously.

What an annoying over-achiever I was.

This photo is from 2 years ago.

See Megan's adorable, furry boots that went just perfect with the outfit?

The store didn't have her size and I just HAD TO HAVE THEM for the Christmas card picture.

After traveling to every Gymboree in Central Ohio and not finding her size, I ordered them online . . . but I was worried they wouldn't fit when they arrived (so I ordered five pairs of them, in five different sizes, just to make sure I had the right size.) I'm honestly not kidding.

That night, I greeted John at the door with, "Honey, don't be mad at me but . . . )

And you wonder why they call him St. John.

This year, things are a little different.

I haven't slept in 4 months and if Gymboree is selling $50 boots for toddlers I sure don't know about it.

Then I started receiving some holiday cards in the mail and had an "Oh Crap" moment.

That is, oh crap it is mid-December I haven't even made our Christmas card yet.

Oh the humanity!

I took approximately 93873209584975 photos, attempting to get just ONE that was usable.

Here's how it went . . .

Why do they both look terrified???

It's not like I threatened "no lunch" until I had the perfect photo.

Or maybe Brendan is thinking, "Mom will you take me out of this stupid basket.

I feel like an idiot here."

And then you have the adorable-Megan-going-in-for-a-kiss-while-Brendan-pulls-away photo.

Not pictured: Megan "delicately" grabbing Brendan's head, kissing him so hard he had an imprint of her lips on his temple for the rest of the day, all while accidentally poking him in the right eye, leading to 20 minutes of hysterical crying.

Then a complete and total lack of cooperation from the both of them.

This is Megan growing a little tired of my plan.

I keep a little pack of orange tic tacs in my purse for just such moments.

If you look carefully in the bottom right corner of Megan's mouth, you will see the orange residue from the tic tacs I was feeding her to smile.

Part of me is ashamed and part of me just isn't.

And finally, proof that Christmas miracles really do happen.
Both my little elves managed a smile at the same time.
Oh, how full of Christmas cheer I am :)

P.S. I did return the boots that didn't fit her.

P.S.S. Her sweater this year was from Walmart.

Oh how times have changed.

Cakes

2009-12-11T15:23:00.004-05:00

I've been a cake baking fool lately.

I made this one for my niece's birthday on Thanksgiving.

I already posted a picture but I'm posting another one.

Deal with it :)

And this one is my first "paid" cake made for someone outside my family.

It was for a little boy's baby shower.

The theme was green, blue, and brown polka dots.

My sister threw the shower and now owes me multiple hours of babysitting.

Multiple.

The Fun We Have While Megan's At School

2009-12-08T10:23:00.003-05:00

Amount of time you spent crying and fussing, indicating you might need a nap:

12 minutes

Amount of time I spent trying to put you down (including the shushing, walking, rocking, bouncing, singing, swaying, lay you down ever so gently, oops not gently enough you just woke up, start all over again, ok you're really asleep now, quietly creep out of the room and try to get something done.)

43 minutes

Amount of time you actually spent sleeping

6 minutes

My Two Turkeys

2009-12-07T11:39:00.000-05:00

Just getting around to posting about Thanksgiving.

Better late than never I guess.

Thanksgiving #1 was in Dayton at John's sister Laura's house.

Here is Grandpa K and our little heavyweight.

And Grandma K just a short time after having BRAIN SURGERY!!!
Remarkable.

And my two turkeys sharing a snuggle on the couch.

Then we moved on to Thanksgiving #2 with my family. . .

We celebrated my niece Austyn's 8th birthday with a little Hannah Montana cake I whipped up for the occasion. I love to see the excitement in the kids' eyes when they see their cake for the first time. This was a fun cake to make.

My brother, single and ready to mingle.

Carter and Brendan

Can you believe Brendan is only 3 weeks older?

Katie and Brendan

And last but not least, my dad and his little mini-me Carter.

They are like twins separated by fifty-something years and few gray hairs.

And that, my friends, was my two turkeys.